"But we can beat these guys, right Spike?"

No score predictions from me. No predictions of improved offense, either. I learned my lesson. If it happens, it happens.

But the quarterback switch is the right move. Randall Cobb is the real deal. Any change that gets the ball in his hands 50 times per game can't be all bad.

If nothing else, Kentucky's offense will at least be more fun to watch.

football post/ travel guide

Saturday's college football game of the week is between Texas and Texas Tech.
Ah, Lubbock in the fall! The biting wind, the blinding dust that gets in your nose, your teeth, your ears. It's lovely.

I got the picture off a post at everydayshouldbesaturday.com. The post included this helpful tip for Longhorn fans traveling to the game:

If you want to buy beer, you’ll need to drive south of town to what is affectionately known as “the Strip” (Hwy 87 and 98th St.), a row of drive-thru liquor stores festooned with a veritable cornucopia of superfluous Vegas-style luminescence. You simply hand the attendant your cooler and a credit card and it comes back full of ice and your beverage of choice.

Perfectly true. Also accurate is this, posted in the comments section:

I’ve only been to Lubbock once, in April about 7 years ago, and it was just like that picture. I thought I was on the set for Mission to Mars. But what really freaked me out was when it started raining in the middle of that sandstorm and the rain picked up the dust, so it started raining mud. I’m driving in a white rental and all I see is big fat red muddy raindrops falling on my car.

I would add, however, that it doesn't actually rain too often. That's a good thing, since there aren't any storm drains on the roads. A downpour lasting over 20 minutes usually causes some substantial flooding.

Grammar

When I wrote, "a billion pounds of sugar are being consumed," I had difficulty deciding whether the correct verb was 'are' or 'is.'

Are 'pounds' being consumed?
Is 'sugar' being consumed?

I also considered just typing "We are eating a lot of sugar," because I was sitting in my recliner with a computer in my lap, and my trusty Strunk and White volume was way over on the bookshelf.

Which helps explain how I happened upon the following. Here is the address to find The Elements of Style. Sorry it's not a live link. I still have not figured out which of my security settings is blocking my ability to post a link.

http://www.bartleby.com/141/

I now have all the answers just a click or two away, and yet my poor grammatical decisions will undoubtedly continue. I can live with that, for I am lazy. I will continue to use too many commas and too many passive verbs. I will also still begin sentences with 'and,' 'but,' and 'so.'

But I'll know it's wrong. And that's the important thing.

Disturbing mental image

I went back and forth about whether I should share this. Then, I decided what the heck, if I have to live with this in my brain, why shouldn't you?

First, background info.
A few days ago, a kind, thoughtful person brought a 25-lb box of peanuts (still in shells) to work, thinking that as it is Halloween and about a billion pounds of sugar are being consumed in the office, some people might like a nice, salty change-of-pace.

So far, so good. I ate a lot of peanuts, and I managed to keep my mess to a minimum. The peanuts disappeared quickly, too, so I think that it was a good idea, for the most part.

but...

This morning, near lunch-time, I took a quick bathroom break. While I was in there, I noticed that the floor of the stall was littered with peanut shells. Someone evidently sat in there and had a snack while doing their business.

Happy Halloween.

Racing

....but enough about football.

I ended up down only $8 for the horseracing weekend. I was saved by an across-the-board wager on Conduit.

I consider it a wise investment. If I'd taken all my money out of my wagering account last month and put it in my 401k, I'd have lost a lot more than eight bucks.

Cats put the "special" in special teams.

My friend Debbie from work has a favorite insult I find amusing. "You're special. I bet you rode the short bus to school and licked the window."

Kentucky's kicking unit is special.

Blocked punt #1 was bad. It was the third blocked kick/punt this season, which indicates some fairly substantial special teams problem.

Blocked punt #2 was worse. Just because.

Then, after the blocked field goal, the camera showed Rich Brooks yelling at the special teams coach. I couldn't help but notice that this particular coach, Steve Ortmayer, who was witnessing a performance that, being the worst special teams performance I've ever seen from any football team anywhere at any time, absolutely had to put his job in jeapordy, was *eating a candy bar while Brooks berated him.

As a fan, I find that aggravating.
But I also find it oddly amusing.

I can't remember any specific blocks prior to the Tennessee game last year, but I think there was at least one more other than that last season. And at the very least, starting with that blocked field goal in overtime, there have been 6 blocked kicks in the last 10 games.

My suggested strategy: The Cats never convert on 3rd down anyway, so the third down play call should always be a rainbowed Hail Mary pass in the hope that it will be intercepted. If unsuccessful, repeat again on 4th down.

*A minor correction: after painful review of the videotape on ESPN 360, I can not confirm that Ortmayer was, in fact, eating a candy bar. But he was eating something. It might have been jerky.

Swamp Thing

I browsed the kentuckysportsradio blog after the game to check out fiasco-related discussions.

My favorite comment was:

J K Says:
October 25th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Urban Meyer should do the honorable thing and marry Rich Brooks.

Breeder's Cup Friday

I am not likely to have a wager on Friday's first couple of races, and I haven't determined exactly what bets I'll be making.

But I have reviewed the fields, and I am prepared to offer Friday's pick of the day.

Take out a 2nd mortgage, cash in your life insurance, dip into that diminished retirement account, donate some plasma, and bet it all on Sky Diva in the Juvenile Fillies.

I expect a 10% cut if you win.

But don't come crying to me if you lose. You should have done your own research.

Oh, and Cocoa Beach looks pretty good for the Ladies' Classic.

Almost time to face the Swamp Thing

I'm looking forward to the Florida game.

But it does seem like a fitting road game for the weekend before Halloween. It's like a horror movie, and Kentucky's hobbled squad is the unlucky girl who's walking through the woods with her friends, perhaps returning from the lake, and says "oh, darn, I forgot my sunglasses. No, no, you guys go back to camp. I'll catch up in a minute," as the ominous music starts...


Tim Tebow as "The Swamp Thing"





Yes, it's going to be ugly. Star defensive tackle Myron Pryor (the only man to ever have a touchdown return timed with a sun dial) is out. Possibly all three excellent starting linebackers are out. Not a good start to stopping Tebow.

But the injuries on offense won't hurt nearly as much as fans seem to think. Yes, I loved having Lyons in the game. But he wasn't a game-changer. They couldn't score much with him, so they can't drop off too much without him.

And Locke was, and will be again next year, a great contributor. But they've still got their best running back. I've been waiting for 2 1/2 seasons now to see Smith as the featured back, because he's the best they've got. He's stronger than Locke and Dixon, runs harder, and is almost as fast as Locke. Moncell Allen looks solid, too. It's a shame Dixon will probably get 25 carries.

My advice to the gamblers is to not bet on this one. I'd love to advise you to take Kentucky, but I can't quite do that.

Personally, I'm focusing my gambling dollars on horse racing this weekend. That seems safer than betting it in my 401k.

IRONICTIMES.COM

I vist the Ironic Times site every week. It's usually very funny.

This week it's especially good. In exchange for my endorsement of their site, I believe they wouldn't mind my shameless copy and paste theft of a few of this week's headlines. I really liked them.


Average Price of Gas Falls Below $3
Should be down to 99 cents by election day.

Bush Nationalizes Banks
Challenges Russia to do same.

Conservatives Divided Over
McCain-Palin Ticket
Some can't stand her, barely tolerate him; others can't stand him, barely tolerate her.

. . . . . . 'Dancing With the Stars' adds Joe the Plumber . . . . . . Closed-door meetings in smoke-filled rooms kill health bill . . . . . . Fortune 500 dominated by pawnshops . . . . . . . . LATEST HEADLINES . .

NEWS QUIZ

What political organization is responsible for the above anti-Obama campaign banners?
A ) The Ku Klux Klan
B ) The John Birch Society
C ) The American Nazi Party
D ) The Sacramento County GOP
Hint: Eliminate the three ridiculously obvious choices and you'll get it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah, and...

...last night as I was drifting off to sleep, for some reason I wondered why I sometimes hear the adjective "uncanny," but I never hear anyone use the adjective "canny."

I didn't know what "canny" meant, and I was guessing it might be like the whole ravel/unravel thing.

Turns out 'canny' is a legit word with several definitions, none of which is an antonym of 'uncanny.'

I find the whole thing to be a little uncanny.

Florida -24

I apologize for temporarily turning this into a UK football blog.

My days have lately followed a fairly consistent, non-post-worthy rut:
6:00-7:00 prepare for the day and travel
7:00-4:30 work and travel
4:30-6:00 eat and vegetate
8:00-10:00 t.v., exercise bike, read, watch television, mess around on computer.

That gap from 6 o'clock to 8 o'clock could theoretically contain some interesting stuff, but mostly it's just dishwashing, laundry, and trips to Target and Kroger and bookstores, and whatnot.

Interestingly (to me, anyway), I don't think I'll be nearly as tempted to write about Kentucky basketball. For quite a few years now, I've found the struggles of the football team much more riveting than the successful basketball team.

I blame Rick Pitino for my slighly dwindled enthusiasm. The constant 20-point victories during the Pitino Era were frankly a little boring. I seldom have that problem with the football team.

Oops, I almost forgot...
About Florida and the current 24-point spread: I can't quibble. Florida looks awfully tough, Kentucky's offense is anemic, and they are hobbled by numerous injuries to the exact players they can't afford to lose. But I can not ever recall seeing a team listed as a 24-point underdog seven games into a season in which they haven't allowed more than 24 points in any game.

UK defense

Kentucky has allowed 83 points through 7 games.
I wondered how long it had been since they'd done that well, and found...

2007-4 games, 93 points.
2006-4 games, 86 points.
2005-3 games, 98 points.
2004-4 games, 108 points.
2003-4 games, 90 points.
2002-5 games, 114 points.
2001-3 games, 100 points.
2000-3 games, 83 points.
1999-3 games, 105 points.
1998-4 games, 119 points.
1997-4 games, 121 points.

and I finally got tired of typing all these out, so I'll skip ahead. The last time the Wildcats allowed fewer points through 7 games was 1977. The stingy '77 UK squad only gave up 81 points through the first 8 games.
That team's 111 points through 11 games will be tough to equal. Florida will likely put the kibosh on that goal in just a few days.

A couple other years of note
1994- 2 games, 87 points and 3 games, 146 points.
Combined 1949 and 1950 teams, 24 games, 143 points.

Does that make anybody besides me wonder how different UK football history would be if Rupp hadn't chased Bear Bryant off the campus?

wow

Ron let me come over and watch the game there tonight, but I left at halftime.

I really didn't want to watch that mess.

But I'm a diehard fan despite myself, so I had it on the radio, and I clicked onto the Kentuckysportsradio blog while listening. The blog had a link to watch the game on-line, so I watched. I guess Kentucky's offense is sort of like a guy with a hairlip- I don't want to see it, but I can't help but look.

So there I was, occupying the timeouts by posting a comment about how Kentucky has zero offense, how I can't see the team having a good chance against anybody when they simply can't score...

and they pull one out of a hat. Wow. I bet the 45 people I saw remaining in Commonwealth Stadium really enjoyed that.

football

After last week's fiasco of a football game, I'll need some time to recover before I'm willing to make another prediction.

Joe the (not quite a) Plumber, however,
*avoids the Arkansas/Kentucky game unless he locked in Arkansas and the 10 points they were getting early in the week.

*picks Texas (-6) over Missouri,

*picks Georgia (-16) over Vandy,

*and throws in Louisville (-14) over MTSU, though he's not too sure about that one.

Good luck, Joe, and if you win, don't forget to pay those taxes!

Arkansas fans have a UK look-alike post, too.

Despise? and others

A) Do I really despise John McCain?

I spent a fair bit of time today reconsidering this notion. It seemed harsh.

The answer I came up with was "Yes."

His campaign has been despicable, and my best one-word description of his personality remains "Jerk."
----------------------------------

B) I hiked Jefferson Memorial Forest. Sorry for the omission.

-----------------------------------

C) The Cats have a tough game Saturday. Paterno has been at the helm for 42 years now, the epitome of loyalty to a university, and his squad is looking especially good this year. Paterno is respected for all he gives back to his university, and in the past he has passed up prestigious positions at the University of Michigan, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the New England Patriots. I hope Kentucky wins, but it's tough to root against such a well-respected--- What? Petrino? Bobby Petrino? Really? Never mind.

McCain

I'm fascinated by how much I despise John McCain. I suppose it's possible that I never really cared for him, but in 2000, when he was running against W., he seemed likeable. Perhaps it was only by comparison.

I know that I was frequently disappointed in him over the last 8 years. He often spoke up vehemently about things he disagreed with, and vowed to fight. But then he always caved.

Throughout this campaign, though, I've been suprised to find out what a jerk he is. He's snide, condescending, and grumpy. And his celebrated integrity is nonexistent.

He's not a maverick. He's just a jerk.

Debate III, fair and balanced

I'm so proud of myself. I watched the whole thing! Again! I was not even tempted to check the score of the baseball game (which the Phillies are leading 5-0 in the 5th. Oops. I guess I checked once.)

I didn't abbreviate it any more than I did the last one, but at least it's fair and balanced.

State of the economy:
McCain: Fannie and Freddie Mae (sic) are the reason Americans can not retire, because I backed deregulation for every big corporation and financial institution except those two.
Obama: You are so full of it it’s coming out your ears.
McCain: You’re Hugo Chavez.
Obama: You’re desperate. And a total jerk, full of outrageous lies.
McCain: I know. But if I smile enough and try to sound reasonable, some people might believe me.
Obama: We need to invest in the future, and spend money responsibly.
McCain: I’m going to use a hatchet, and then a scalpel. (Honestly, does that sound like the surgery you’d want?- Kevin)
Obama: The Bush administration stunk, and you supported it.
McCain: I’m a maverick.
Obama: You’re a Bushketeer.
McCain: I’m a maverick.

Negative campaigning:
McCain: I regret the negativity of this campaign. Especially your negativity.
Obama: You’ve got to be kidding.
McCain: You better keep those ashes out of my yard!
Obama: Sorry, but I can’t help it if your people burn crosses on windy days.

McCain: I’m not saying you’re a terrorist, but you’re a terrorist.
Obama: You are insane.
McCain: I’m taking the high road, you filthy communist terrorist.

Vice-presidential candidates:
Obama: Joe Biden is Superman. Chuck Norris dresses as Joe Biden for Halloween.
McCain: Sarah Palin is a maverick. I couldn’t be more proud of her if she was my own great-great-great granddaughter.

Energy:
McCain: Drill, baby, drill. And let's build lots more nuclear power plants. I’m sure that mountain in Nevada can hold the waste- even if Nevadans are fighting it tooth-and-nail.
Obama: We should drill responsibly and invest in alternative energies and fuel-saving technologies.

Trade:
McCain: Free trade is good. And I like talking about Herbert Hoover and the 1920s and ‘30s.
Obama: I like free trade, but it should be fair trade, too. No sweat shops, child labor, and human rights violations should be responsible for your cheap coffee and televisions, and for driving Americans into unemployment.

Healthcare:
Obama: Healthcare costs way too much. We should look at every possible way to lower the cost and improve health.
McCain: Put healthcare records on the internet. And Joe the Plumber should join a fitness center.

( I wonder how Joe the Plumber feels about being the main topic of tonight’s debate. It has to be pretty cool. -Kevin)

Obama: McCain’s plan has huge holes in it. He completely trusts the unregulated free market. I can see why, based on how well the unregulated free market is handling everything else.
McCain: Joe, guess what! You’re rich!. (????- Kevin)

Supreme Court nominees:
(Here’s where I checked the baseball game. I missed McCain’s answer. So I’ll make it up.)
McCain: My first choice for a Supreme Court nominee would be Todd Palin. I like the way he handles a snow machine.
Obama: Roe vs. Wade is the law of the land, and I’ll try to keep it so. It’s not perfect, but abortions beat the crap out of messed-up people having messed-up kids.

Education:
Obama: Invest in early childhood education. Recruit better teachers. Pay teachers better, teach them better, and make them more accountable for results. Make college affordable. And parents need to be more responsible, or everything else I mentioned won’t work.
McCain: Teachers don’t need to have certifications. (My God! Is he nuts? - Kevin)
Obama: The federal government should not pass unfunded mandates.
McCain: I like vouchers. It’s fun to say. Vouchers. Vowwww-chers. VOUCHERS. Vow-chers.

Hiking

I missed Make Tracks Day. I did, however, go hiking the previous weekend. I toted my camera around for the entire hike without remembering I had it, or maybe just without feeling any desire to take pictures.

Near the very end of the hike I noticed the camera-sized lump in my pocket and thought, "Hmmmm...I should take a few pictures so I have proof that I didn't spend my Sunday morning watching Star Trek and useless political pundits."

Then I read Mark's blog and again thought, "Hmmmm...(all my best thoughts start with 'hmmm,' and are usually accompanied by a pensive forefinger-on-chin pose) I should post a couple of those pictures."

Drat

I can't say I'm suprised that DLJ's UK career is over. That knee-twist looked nasty on replays.

I'm going to miss watching him. I agree with the KY sports radio guys-the block against LSU (currently available on the video bar to the right) is my favorite play.

Looking for a bright side? I am confident that Dicky will spend the remainder of the season as an unpaid coach devoted to route- and signal-tutoring. Maybe the wide receivers will catch on by the end of the year.

I found this posting on Craigslist.

Quarterback Needed (University of Kentucky)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: job-875441452@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-11, 4:25PM EDT



How would you feel playing in front of no less than 70,000 fans every SATURDAY? Wednesday through Fridays are booked for Louisville games. The University of Kentucky is now accepting applications for the quarterback position. All you have to do is complete passes longer than 3 yards so that UK is capable of winning a conference football game this year. We prefer a passer capable of throwing a pass that can't be referred to as a "duck." We would also prefer someone that has at least middle school playing experience.

Please send video to offensive coordinator Joker Phillips.




Location: University of Kentucky
Compensation: The chance to play at a BCS school, and throw to wide receivers who have a 50/50 chance of catching the football.
This is a part-time job.
OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 875441452

Mail Goggles

According to http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20081007-mail-goggles-a-breathlyzer-test-for-your-gmail.html, Gmail has a new feature to protect against the email equivalent of drunk dialing.

Called "Mail Goggles," the Gmail add-on makes sending e-mail from Gmail more difficult during certain times that you can set manually (while sober, that is). How does it do this? If you have Mail Goggles installed—which you can do by going to the "Labs" tab under your Gmail settings and turning them on—it will force you to answer a series of math questions before sending out any new messages.

If you get the math questions wrong, or take too long, you receive a message telling you to go to bed, and your email is saved until a sober decision can be made.

Some historical perspective for depressed UK fans

On October 14, 2006, Andre Woodson was 14 of 37 for 151 yards with no touchdowns and one interception against LSU. His pass catchers that game included Keenan Burton, Jacob Tamme, and Dicky Lyons.

oops

Anyone who made wagers based on my predictions is advised to contact your nearest federal government for an emergency bailout.

4 South Carolina turnovers.
4 missed South Carolina field goals.

1 more South Carolina win over Kentucky.

I promise that this season I will never again say "this might be the game Kentucky shows some life on offense." Watching Mike Hartline play QB is like watching Michael Porter play point guard. Painful.
I knew the Wildcats were in trouble when they came up empty after the third turnover. A 7-7 tie after three SC turnovers was not a good sign. And then the only reliable receiver gets hurt.
I figured out that the only way to watch a UK on offense is to close my eyes and hope for the best. It looks like that's what the players on the field do, too.

Two for 16 on third down conversions won't win anything. Six yards per completion won't either, unless you complete about 85%. Less than three yards per carry hurts a little as well. How did Kentucky get 17 points?

When I saw Lorenzen and Abney on the sideline I was praying for someone to sneak them into uniforms.

My one positive comment: that interception and TD by Lindley was one of the sweetest interceptions I've ever seen.

Game prediction

Gamblers take note: I have a perfect lifetime record (for the life of this blog, anyway) predicting both winners and point spread winners. I'm 2-0 on both counts.

I don't imagine my record will stay perfect forever, but I expect it will stay pretty good- mostly because I'll avoid making picks on a lot of games.

Not this one, however.

The current line on the UK-South Carolina game has the Gamecocks a 2 1/2 point favorite. Ridiculous.

The argument is supposedly that Kentucky hasn't played anyone, other than their loss at Alabama.

My argument is that the Wildcats have handled the cupcakes exactly as they are supposed to. Take away a rough first quarter at 'Bama (and I have no problem doing so, because I can forgive a team with a new QB and green skill position players for being temporarily shell shocked in their first SEC road game) and Kentucky has outscored their opponents 140-25 in 19 quarters. That seems okay to me.

South Carolina only beat Wofford (owners of a nice 38-37 OT win over Georgia Southern) by 10. They only beat UAB (1 and 6 record) by 13. They crushed NC State way back in August. Since then, their points-scored vs. points-allowed is mediocre, at best.

Even the Gamecock cheerleaders are supporting the Cats.

political football and regular football

My abridgement was still rather long. I'm going to try again next week. I think I'll be able to simplify it even further. I wish I could do hand puppets on this blog, that would be cool. Maybe I'll make a hand puppet debate video, or something.

The project helped me focus, though. I normally zone out for a few five-minute stretches while watching stuff like that- or else change the channel to find out the score of a ballgame and forget to switch it back.

____________

Kentucky's a 1-point favorite over South Carolina.

I'd bet big on Kentucky. Almost all the injured players are back. Kentucky's sitting on a big game.

Everyone seems to think Kentucky made a good showing against Alabama. They actually played better against Middle Tennessee, which was a victory, but is still the game that has kept Kentucky out of the top 25 so far.

The presidential debate: abridged version

I watched and transcribed the entire debate tonight. More or less. This is the gist of what was said:

Key:
O = Obama
M= McCain

Economy
O: The economy sucks. It’s George Bush’s fault. And John McCain’s. I’ll fix it.
And I’m presidential.
M: The economy sucks. I’ll fix it. And I’m a nice guy. Plus I’m hip. I know about eBay.
O: My opponent is old and out of touch.
M: I care about the middle class. But until last month, I though Fannie and Freddy were the Flintstones.
O: It’s all John McCain’s fault. But I won’t point fingers. I thought Halle Berry was hot in “The Flinstones” movie. That Rosie chick stunk, though. But she’ll vote for me.
O: I’m going to give you everything you want and it’s not going to cost you a dime. my opponent is erratic.
M: I’m a maverick. He’s a communist.
M: I can reach across the aisle and work with Democrats. But Democrats suck.
O: Your paycheck is too small and you spend too much on gas. I’ll fix it. Plus I mentioned Kennedy. Everybody loves him.
M: I’m going to eliminate all government spending that doesn’t directly benefit you.
I’m more patriotic that Barack Hussein Obama.
O: All Americans will have to make sacrifices. (wink, wink. Just kidding. I’m going to make rich people pay!)
M: I knew Herbert Hoover. You, sir, are no Herbert Hoover.
O: I’ll give you anything you want.
M: I know how to fix Social Security. I’ll form a committee. That always works.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes. I’m a veteran. I’m patriotic.

Healthcare
O: I know about computers. I’m young. Not too young though. Just young enough.
M: I’m a maverick. I’ve been in the Senate since 1846 but I’m an outsider.
O: I’m going to fix health care. My opponent favors leeches and ether.
M: I’m not out of touch. To prove it, I’ll throw in another gratuitous internet reference. By the way, Big Government is bad. That’s why I want to lead Big Government.
O: McCain just screwed up. I can’t wait to answer this question….HEALTHCARE IS A RIGHT!!! Duh.
And insurance companies are evil. God, this is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Important breaking news… at this point John McCain lost the presidential election by acting like a total ass and blurting out “Did we hear the size of the fine?” in reference to his accusation that Obama will fine small businesses. True, not true, doesn’t matter. If Al Gore’s sighs annoyed viewers in 2000, then that little outburst just cost McCain at least 100,000 voters.

Foreign Policy
M: I’m patriotic and wise. But not old. Wise and hip. Not that I have a bad hip.
O: I’m patriotic, too. And I care. And I’m young. Not too young, though. Young and presidential.
M: I’m tough and wise. If I lose, I’m going to do Viagra ads like Bob Dole.
O: I’m wise and tough. John and I should make a Reese’s peanut butter cup commercial.
M: You, sir, are also no Teddy Roosevelt. I knew him, too.
O: Why do you keep talking about carrying a big stick? Are you doing Viagra commercials already?
M: You’re a jerk.
O: You’re a geezer.
M: You’re a communist.
O: You’re senile
M: Oh, go to hell, you …whoops- I think I just wet myself.
O: Hah.
M: My opponent is soft on terrorism, soft on rogue nations, soft on..
O: That’s a lot of references to ‘soft’ The Viagra must be wearing off.
M: I’m going to start World War III by bombing Russia. Don’t worry, though, you’ll all die so fast there will be no need to re-institute the draft.
O: Everything is McCain’s fault. I will fix it.

QUESTION: Yes or no, is Russia an evil empire?
O: How dumb do you think I am?
M: How dumb do you think I am?

M: Iran is evil. I’m tough. I want the Jewish vote.
O: Iran is evil. I’m tough, too. I also want the Jewish vote.

IN CLOSING:
O: Change, change, change, change.
M: I'm a veteran.

Football

Kentucky once again displayed an inept offense and solid defense in losing to the Alabama Phytoplankton 17-14.

I am really enjoying this season, despite the fact that watching Kentucky try to move the football is almost physically painful.

I was very impressed with the defense. They played great without their best player, Micah Johnson, and he's due back next week, as are both the Cobbs and Justin Jeffries.

I still have not given up on the offense, either. Mike Hartline looks terrible at times, but no he looks no worse than Andre Woodson when he was a sophomore- in fact I think Hartline looks better. If some receiver, any receiver (please!) steps up in addition to Lyons, and with Cobb back to provide occasional change-ups at QB, then the offense can start clicking.

I see no reason not to be optimistic that Kentucky can end it's 0 and 15 drought against Spurrier next week.

Facemask

I have some opinions about the game that I'll share later. But for now, I only have a question.

I don't really have a beef with the officiating, because this is NEVER called. But how come ball carriers who stiff-arm defenders as shown in the picture are not penalized for grabbing the facemask?

3 of 3

I still can't predict a UK victory. Kentucky has a legitimate shot, though.

Both teams are well into their seasons, so I have to base my prediction on what the teams have done. On that basis, Alabama's been better.

But Alabama can't get much better than they've been already. I don't really buy the notion that it's a 'trap' game for them, but even if they play well they're still likely to play a little worse than they played against Georgia.

Kentucky, on the other hand, is much more likely to take a huge leap forward. If Tony Dixon runs into holes rather than diving into them, (or if he plays a lot less) it will help. If any one of the young receivers manages to hold onto a couple of passes, it will help a lot, too.

2 of 3

I'm trying doggedly to get into Graham Greene's "The Heart of the Matter."

I've read 7 or 8 Graham Greene novels. Two or three have been great, and the rest at least good. I bought this particular book at Half-Price Books over a year ago, but still haven't read it despite two previous aborted attempts.

This time, I'm determined. I feel confident that if I give it a good effort then I'll get into it and enjoy it, because I've had similar difficulty with a couple of his other books.

The problem is that Greene was primarily a screenwriter. His novels are very good, but the openings establish mood and bounce between seemingly unrelated characters in a manner that is very effective in movies, but drags in print. Once they get going, though, they are always worth it.

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"She's awful" isn't much of a critique, so I'll expound.

I admit I am predisposed to dislike any candidate who thinks creationism should be taught in a science class. That's just plain stupid, so I don't feel any need to elaborate.

Despite the fairly positive media reviews, though, I still feel my assessment of "awful" was arrived at fairly objectively.

I gave Palin fairly positive marks for aggressiveness and for sticking well to talking points she believed worked for her. I believe, however, that she probably only impressed those who were likely to vote for her already.

She stuck doggedly to her script, and when forced to leave it at all she looked like a deer in headlights. She showed adequate command of a narrow range of issues, and on the rest she either relied entirely on notes-if she had notes for that particular topic, or floundered like a fish out of water.

Nice. Two animal metaphors in the same paragraph.

V.P. debate

I do not want John McCain to be the next president. Not at all. I'm adamantly supportive of Barack Obama.

But if McCain wins, then every day I will pray feverishly for President McCain's health.

A President Palin would make me long for the good old days of George W. Bush. She's terrible. I can't believe how awful she is.

If this was a city council debate I'd say she's making a strong showing.
Mayoral debate for a city of, say, 20,000, she's doing fine.
If this were a Kentucky gubernatorial debate I'd say she was fairly weak.
Vice-presidential debate? And she's a candidate? Really? Am I on Candid Camera?

Game prediction

I've been very optimistic this football season. I want to stay that way, and I'd really like to predict a Wildcat victory Saturday.

But I just don't see it happening.



I still believe Kentucky has a shot. Last Friday I predicted that Alabama would beat Georgia, but Kentucky could beat Alabama. And it's true. They could. But they won't.

Alabama is now overrated at #2. But they're quite good.

Kentucky's defense will hold up fine. And by the end of the season the offense will be clicking along nicely. In fact, I expect some Kentucky fans will be suprised by how well the offense moves the ball Saturday. But it's not going to improve so quickly as to pull out a road win at Alabama.

And a side note...since the other night when I visited that Alabama fan forum, I've really had the itch to go back to it, sign up, and start posting comments with a screen name of "BarackAbama." I think it would go over really well, since the non-football comments I saw made Kentuckians look like Arthur Schlesinger or Noam Chomsky by comparison.