Resident Seer Reflects Upon 2010 Births

While the cable news programs have adequately covered (I'm guessing. I don't have cable) the retrospective reflections upon those important folk who, in this great year of two thousand and ten, kicked the proverbial bucket, it appears this humble blogger must step in and fill a shameful void by covering the year's births.

We turned to our in-house seer to provide the goods. So without further ado, here is your year in newborns:

January 4) Anna Nicole Nicole. Teen pop sensation will win multiple Grammies and set numerous sales records before falling into obscurity after 2028. Will star in a short-lived sit com in 2047.
January 11) John Wayne Soterman. Notorious mass murderer will kill 19 people and injure 17 others before shooting himself. Related side note: if you happen to be living in Ft. Worth in the year 2041, April 8 is not a good day to go shoe shopping.
February 13) Barack Obama Sinclair. 58th president of the United States, will be known chiefly for his controversial decision to permanently end U.S. involvement in the war in Afghanistan.
April 21) Meng Lau Yow. Developer of orally-administered cancer cure. Cure will first be marketed in 2047. Unfortunately, no one will be able to afford it.
May 3) Artimus 'Happy' Henderman. Star of the successful "Happy" series of movies, including "Happy Joins A Cult" and "Happy and the Hand Grenade."
July 31) Greta Senata. In the year 2043 becomes the first woman to swim from Poughkeepsie to Boston. Dozens of previous attempts, each of course tried after global warming and rising sea levels made the feat possible, all ended in failure.
August 11) General Juan Miguel Santos. Famed drug lord, supreme president (El Presidente Supremo) of Mexico and the New Mexico, Arizona, and Southern California territories. China will send troops to stabilize the region in 2054, but will not succeed in overthrowing Santos until his death in 2067.
September 30) Liam Anderson. In the year 2068, Anderson will conclusively prove either the existence or the non-existence of God. But we won't spoil the surprise!

Some other famous people were born October thru December, but my dinner is ready so I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

As it turns out, nothing is wrong.

There, now that I've completely ruined the suspense, here's the story:

I had a routine doctor's appointment Tuesday afternoon which included a routine contribution of various bodily fluids for subsequent testing.

Thursday night at bedtime I realized my telephone had been turned off all day. One missed voicemail message was a request to call my doctor's office.

Well, I thought, that sucks.
I knew very well they didn't want me to call because they wished to congratulate me on my excellent health. Something was wrong.

So I worried about it as I tried to go to sleep, and I started worrying about it again as soon as I woke up. Three hours later, when the doctor's office finally opened, I called to get the bad news, which was: just a mild vitamin D deficiency and I need to start taking a vitamin per day. No big deal.

And for the record, I didn't fret that much. I exaggerated to make the story more exciting. I was less worried about a severe problem than I was about the possibility I would need to go back and give another blood sample or something, thus requiring some schedule finagling at a time when I'm already working 11 and 12 hour days.

Vitamin D, though? I thought it a weird vitamin to lack, because exposure to sunlight pretty much took care of it. Then I realized how little time I've spent out-of-doors since softball season ended and figured that might be the cause. So perhaps the drastic cutback in golf has had some health consequences after all.