Or Not...

Okay, the Wildcats definitely did not handle that running back very well.
Also, though there are still a couple of undecided contests, my SEC picks didn't do very well.
However, I did keep my perfect Wildcats point spread record intact.

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Sunday morning update. I ended up with 3 wins, 3 losses, 1 push.
Boo. And not a Halloweeny, ghosty 'Boo,' either, but more of a 'That stinks' kind of 'Boo.'

I'm Prepared

I had no trick-or-treaters last year and expect none this year. I assume nobody bothers knocking on the door of my cheap little apartment because all the much nicer houses nearby look like they'd have a lot better candy.

I like to be prepared, though. Therefore, I just took an inventory of my available treats. If any lucky children come to my door, here is what I can give:

-Claritin
-Halls cough drops
-fruit-flavored antacids

If I run out of over-the-counter medicinal items I suppose I can also hand out my "Mr. Boston Bartenders's Guide." After all, I haven't mixed a drink in several years.
I can also part with my used copy of "Ethics Without God." It's a pretty good read and may set some kid straight. I also have TWO copies of "Moby Dick," both of which would make good treats.
And if all that is not enough, there are a few old text books that I have intended to take to "Half-Price Books" for a while now. So some lucky little Harry Potter, SpongeBob, or Hannah Montana could walk away with either "A History of Civilizations" or "Classical Mythology" in their goody bag. I might even throw in "The Charterhouse of Parma."

Bah Great Pumpkin?

What a rotten, rotten week. It's been a long time since I was this glad it's Friday.
And hey, there's an extra hour this weekend. Yay!

I can do without Halloween, though. Well, that's not true, exactly. I think it's a really neat holiday for kids, but I have never quite understood why anyone would like it other than for kids.

Interestingly, I find the effect of looking at Halloween photographs to be exactly opposite that of looking at Christmas photographs. Halloween party-goers are hot and itchy in their costumes, the parties are fairly lame and unfun, and it's just generally never too great. But the pictures are really neat and make everything appear much more enjoyable than it actually was.

Christmas pictures, on the other hand, are actually incredibly dull. They show mostly overfed, smiling people surrounded by shredded wrapping paper. They really don't reflect how pleasant the holiday is.

I wore my old man mask to work today (the same mask I've worn periodically since approximately the turn of the millennium) and some people wore cool costumes, but mostly it was just crappy costumes, crappier decorations, candy, and the 5th lousy day out of 5 for the work week.
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Here are my SEC picks for the weekend. My picks are in bold lettering.

1) Ole Miss 3 1/2 Auburn
2) Florida 15 1/2 Georgia
3) Georgia Tech 11 1/2 Vanderbilt
4) LSU 35 1/2 Tulane
5) Tennessee 5 1/2 South Carolina
6) Arkansas 38 Eastern Michigan
7) Kentucky 3 1/2 Mississippi St.

I teetered back and forth on the UK game for a long time. I think there's a strong chance Kentucky will win but not cover the 3 1/2 point spread. I'm not overy worried about MSU's star running back- I think Kentucky can handle him reasonably well even if Micah Johnson is unavailable. But that running QB will probably cause headaches.
I also took LSU, but it makes me nervous giving Tulane more points than LSU has scored in a game all year.

Quick FB Handicapping Recap and More TV

2 and 2 on my picks. 3 and 2 if I count the over/under on UK. Mediocre handicapping performance.

My worst pick was BYU/TCU. I had a bad feeling about that pick all day, too. Temporary stupidity last night caused it. My worst/best omission was Bama/Tennessee. I must have told a dozen people this week that it would be a close game. I should have included it.

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I've been watching 'FlashForward' on Thursday nights. I'm hooked and will probably watch the whole season, but I'm not sure why.

The show is really not that good. It's a teriffic idea and could be a tremendous show, but it's only mediocre. It is one of those shows that- now that I am watching- I have to know what happens next, even though I suspect it will be fairly predictable and not at all satisfying.

Non-UK Picks

I'm branching out

No prediction for the the Kentucky game tomorrow. It scares the heck out of me and I can easily see anything from a loss to a 30-point win. The only posted over/under I found was 47 points. I'll take 'over'.

Since I'm not publishing my UK prediction, I'll instead branch out and select four other college games. These picks come with my usual money-back guarantee*. The odds are according to Lasvegasinsider.com.

I'll take Ohio State over Minnesota and give the 17 points. The Buckeyes are overdue for a huge effort.

I'll take Ball State and give Eastern Michigan 5 1/2. I don't know anything about Eastern Michigan, but they must be really, really bad if Ball State is favored.

I'll take Ole Miss and give Arkansas 7. The Rebels are not as good as preseason predictions but not as bad as their current reputation, and the Hogs have to be getting worn out from their recent big-game gauntlet.

I'll go with BYU over TCU - that's a pick 'em.

*Guarantee not valid in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, The United Kingdom, France, Germany, China, Russia or any of the former Soviet states, Japan, any nation that is, has been, or ever will be at war with Japan, any nation currently hosting U.S. troops, or any nation that has at least one computer with an internet connection.

Sports, Television, Books

*I read that the SEC suspended an officiating crew because of poor performance. It's the crew that stunk up both the LSU/Georgia game and the Florida/Arkansas game. The refs will not get another assignment until November 14. Does anyone doubt they'll draw the UK/Vandy game?

*I believe the last three episodes of "The Office" are just about the funniest shows I have ever seen.

*My last trip to Half-Price Books I bought two novels by authors I'd never read. Both were selected via perusal of back-cover blurbs- which is not a method I usually use.
It worked out okay. "The Hot Kid" by Elmore Leonard was pretty good. Not fantastic, but I enjoyed it.
The other was Richard K. Morgan's "Altered Carbon." Eh, it was okay, I guess, but not my cup of tea.

*"The Bourne Identity" was a very enjoyable read. I was pleasantly surprised. The plot varied quite a lot from the movie. I was not previously aware that the novel was 35 years old. That alone was enough to make the plot very different; pay phones, hand-writing recognition as a security method, and references to green text on computer screens all made for a very different spy world than the one inhabited by 21st century Bourne.

*I finally bought "The Wordy Shipmates."
Yes, Mom, you'll get it as soon as I finish it.

What the...?

For the last two years I have used a minuscule vacuum cleaner. It was not very good but just barely effective enough for my haphazard housekeeping. Thus I have had the intention of buying a full-sized vacuum cleaner for 6 months but did not get around to it until this week.

Most of the assembly was easy- except for the very first step. The instructions said to screw the handle into the main body of the cleaner, and it went on to say that the screws were taped to the back of the handle.


The screws were not there. They also were not taped to any of the other parts. I was getting seriously p.'d o. (how come people say p.o.'d? It's not 'offed.') when, while checking the handle for the 27th time, I heard a rattle.

I looked in the hollow handle and discovered that the screws were taped inside it, way up in the bend and decidedly out of reach of my fingers.
I marked the picture in red so you could see how far up the screws were stuck. And as a bonus, the fuzz on the floor also shows how badly I needed the vacuum cleaner.

I worked at it with a long screw driver for about 15 minutes before getting the screws out. Every two minutes or so I came close to throwing it all back in the box and returning it. I could have used my own screws, of course, but I was angry.. Still, I kept thinking 'one more try.' Finally, I pried up the tape enough to shake the screws out.

And now it is all assembled and works fine. I even vacuumed out my car. Once every five years is enough, right?

This particular Bissell vacuum cleaner either has the worst-ever parts packaging idea, or someone on the assembly line was having some fun.