What the...?

For the last two years I have used a minuscule vacuum cleaner. It was not very good but just barely effective enough for my haphazard housekeeping. Thus I have had the intention of buying a full-sized vacuum cleaner for 6 months but did not get around to it until this week.

Most of the assembly was easy- except for the very first step. The instructions said to screw the handle into the main body of the cleaner, and it went on to say that the screws were taped to the back of the handle.


The screws were not there. They also were not taped to any of the other parts. I was getting seriously p.'d o. (how come people say p.o.'d? It's not 'offed.') when, while checking the handle for the 27th time, I heard a rattle.

I looked in the hollow handle and discovered that the screws were taped inside it, way up in the bend and decidedly out of reach of my fingers.
I marked the picture in red so you could see how far up the screws were stuck. And as a bonus, the fuzz on the floor also shows how badly I needed the vacuum cleaner.

I worked at it with a long screw driver for about 15 minutes before getting the screws out. Every two minutes or so I came close to throwing it all back in the box and returning it. I could have used my own screws, of course, but I was angry.. Still, I kept thinking 'one more try.' Finally, I pried up the tape enough to shake the screws out.

And now it is all assembled and works fine. I even vacuumed out my car. Once every five years is enough, right?

This particular Bissell vacuum cleaner either has the worst-ever parts packaging idea, or someone on the assembly line was having some fun.