I do not want John McCain to be the next president. Not at all. I'm adamantly supportive of Barack Obama.
But if McCain wins, then every day I will pray feverishly for President McCain's health.
A President Palin would make me long for the good old days of George W. Bush. She's terrible. I can't believe how awful she is.
If this was a city council debate I'd say she's making a strong showing.
Mayoral debate for a city of, say, 20,000, she's doing fine.
If this were a Kentucky gubernatorial debate I'd say she was fairly weak.
Vice-presidential debate? And she's a candidate? Really? Am I on Candid Camera?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Game prediction
I've been very optimistic this football season. I want to stay that way, and I'd really like to predict a Wildcat victory Saturday.
But I just don't see it happening.
I still believe Kentucky has a shot. Last Friday I predicted that Alabama would beat Georgia, but Kentucky could beat Alabama. And it's true. They could. But they won't.
Alabama is now overrated at #2. But they're quite good.
Kentucky's defense will hold up fine. And by the end of the season the offense will be clicking along nicely. In fact, I expect some Kentucky fans will be suprised by how well the offense moves the ball Saturday. But it's not going to improve so quickly as to pull out a road win at Alabama.
And a side note...since the other night when I visited that Alabama fan forum, I've really had the itch to go back to it, sign up, and start posting comments with a screen name of "BarackAbama." I think it would go over really well, since the non-football comments I saw made Kentuckians look like Arthur Schlesinger or Noam Chomsky by comparison.
But I just don't see it happening.
I still believe Kentucky has a shot. Last Friday I predicted that Alabama would beat Georgia, but Kentucky could beat Alabama. And it's true. They could. But they won't.
Alabama is now overrated at #2. But they're quite good.
Kentucky's defense will hold up fine. And by the end of the season the offense will be clicking along nicely. In fact, I expect some Kentucky fans will be suprised by how well the offense moves the ball Saturday. But it's not going to improve so quickly as to pull out a road win at Alabama.
And a side note...since the other night when I visited that Alabama fan forum, I've really had the itch to go back to it, sign up, and start posting comments with a screen name of "BarackAbama." I think it would go over really well, since the non-football comments I saw made Kentuckians look like Arthur Schlesinger or Noam Chomsky by comparison.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Alabama fan forums
'Bama week, so I thought I'd snoop around some Alabama fan forums.
First, I can report that the average poster on the Tidefan "predict the score" thread seems to think Alabama will win by about 42-14. Unless you include the guy who said 462-0, which skews the point spread a little higher.
Second, they have a really cool look-alike thread. Very funny. Here were my favorites:
Rich Brooks, Al Bundy
Mike Hartline, G.I. Jane
Dickie Lyons Jr., Ellen Degeneres
Tony Dixon and the Crabman
Will Fidler, Beeker
First, I can report that the average poster on the Tidefan "predict the score" thread seems to think Alabama will win by about 42-14. Unless you include the guy who said 462-0, which skews the point spread a little higher.
Second, they have a really cool look-alike thread. Very funny. Here were my favorites:
Rich Brooks, Al Bundy
Mike Hartline, G.I. Jane
Dickie Lyons Jr., Ellen Degeneres
Tony Dixon and the Crabman
Will Fidler, Beeker
Monday, September 29, 2008
Coach Gump's press conference
Alabama coach Forrest Gump held a press conference today. Some of the highlights:Coach: Hello. My name's Forrest, Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.
Q: Do you enjoy being the highest-paid coach in the nation?
Coach: Yes, sir. We've got more money than Davy Crockett.
Q: Your contract negotiations with the athletic director allegedly took place before last season was even over. Is this true?
Coach: I got a call from him saying we don't have to worry about money no more and I said, "That's good. One less thing".
Q: Is it true that in order to afford to pay you, the university had to lay off all the groundskeepers?
Coach: 'Cause I was gazillionaire and I liked doing it so much, I cut that grass for free.
Q: Coach Gump, your offense has done a good job avoiding penalties this season. Why do you think that is?
Coach: Stupid is as stupid does.
Q: Can you elaborate?
Coach: That's all I have to say about that.
Q: You've said you had to build this team from scratch. Were there any talented players here before you took over?
Coach: There was Dallas, from Phoenix. Cleveland, he was from Detroit. And Tex was, well, I don't remember where Tex come from.
Q: Prior to your victory at Georgia there seemed to be some acrimony between yourself and Coach Richt, especially concerning the black-out Georgia had planned. When you shook Coach Richt's hand following the game, did you say anything special to him?
Coach: Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party.
Q: What do you think of the Georgia fans who threw beer on the reporters from Alabama?
Coach: Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks.
Q: That was a huge win. How did your fans celebrate?
Coach: They'd all dress up in their robes and their bedsheets and act like a bunch of ghosts or spooks or something. They'd even put bedsheets on their horses and ride around.
Q: What's your best memory of winning the national championship?
Coach: You get to meet the President of the United States. Now, the real good thing about meeting the President of the United States is the food. They put you in this little room with just about anything you'd want to eat or drink. And, since number one; I wasn't hungry, but thirsty. And number two; they was free. I must o' drank me about fifteen Dr Peppers.
Q: So far, Coach, you've done a fine job of rebuilding here at Alabama. But you've been known to bounce from job to job. In fact you've been accused of a lack of loyalty- of always chasing a bigger paycheck. Any comments?
Coach: When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went.
Q: Didn't you feel any loyalty at all to the players in your former program?
Coach: I just felt like running.
Q: Alabama's a 17-point favorite against Kentucky Saturday. Are you worried about a let-down?
Coach: Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Q: Coach, how do you feel about-
Coach: I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Dragons!
I have in my possession a curious map. It is an old parchment of unknown origin, but renders quite accurately the neighborhood of my home, which abuts Seneca Gardens. The map is well-marked, and highly detailed, excepting a singularly darkened area labeled "Bowman's Fielde." Upon this plot of land there is nothing. The cartographer has left a great space, and written only "here be dragons." I've oft pondered the message, but until yesterday dismissed it as nothing more than local superstition.
Until last night. Just past dusk, I was returning home from my evening constitutional when I espied in the distance a fearful light. Verily, the fires of Hell seemed loosed by Lucifer himself. I hastened home and bolted the door against the terror of the night.
Some time later, after a strong drink to settle my nerves, I chanced a peek out my window. A great many of my neighbors, braver than I, were streaming toward the dragons- if dragons they were. I longed for the fortitude to join them, brave souls all, but my spirit quailed at the thought.
Shortly thereafter the battle commenced. It was a fearful commotion. Tremendous explosions rent the air, and dragon fire lit the sky with a ghastly glow. Each burst of dragon fire was answered immediately by a volley of the cannons, but eventually the townsfolk were bested. After one last great effort, a particularly intense final barrage, countered terribly by the fire-breathers, the brave warriors dispersed. Thankfully, it was an orderly retreat.
This morning I chanced a short venture out of doors. There was no sign of the dragons. I was of course elated, but did not venture far, as I could not help but wonder mightily what had become of the beasts.
Alas, the answer was soon to come. Upon my return I breakfasted heartily, but my meal was interrupted by a dreadful noise. To my wary ears it sounded like a dragon drawing breath. I shook off these thoughts, attributing them to my advanced nervousness.
But the noise came again. And again. Dragons! What's more, they seemed to be flying directly over my home. I shamefully admit that all courage left me. I ran and hid under the bed.
I eventually mastered my fears; I knew I must document the invasion, must show the world. I don't know of what dreadful deeds these monsters are capable, but perhaps my photographic evidence will help others, more fortunate than I, to learn of some weakness which will enable mankind to fend off these marauding creatures.
I took up my camera, obtained a safe vantage point, and photographed the beasts.
It turns out dragons don't look at all like I thought- I always thought they were supposed to be kind of lizardy, like big flying iguanas. But it turns out they're sort of roundish. Like lightbulbs.
Until last night. Just past dusk, I was returning home from my evening constitutional when I espied in the distance a fearful light. Verily, the fires of Hell seemed loosed by Lucifer himself. I hastened home and bolted the door against the terror of the night.
Some time later, after a strong drink to settle my nerves, I chanced a peek out my window. A great many of my neighbors, braver than I, were streaming toward the dragons- if dragons they were. I longed for the fortitude to join them, brave souls all, but my spirit quailed at the thought.
Shortly thereafter the battle commenced. It was a fearful commotion. Tremendous explosions rent the air, and dragon fire lit the sky with a ghastly glow. Each burst of dragon fire was answered immediately by a volley of the cannons, but eventually the townsfolk were bested. After one last great effort, a particularly intense final barrage, countered terribly by the fire-breathers, the brave warriors dispersed. Thankfully, it was an orderly retreat.
This morning I chanced a short venture out of doors. There was no sign of the dragons. I was of course elated, but did not venture far, as I could not help but wonder mightily what had become of the beasts.
Alas, the answer was soon to come. Upon my return I breakfasted heartily, but my meal was interrupted by a dreadful noise. To my wary ears it sounded like a dragon drawing breath. I shook off these thoughts, attributing them to my advanced nervousness.
But the noise came again. And again. Dragons! What's more, they seemed to be flying directly over my home. I shamefully admit that all courage left me. I ran and hid under the bed.
I eventually mastered my fears; I knew I must document the invasion, must show the world. I don't know of what dreadful deeds these monsters are capable, but perhaps my photographic evidence will help others, more fortunate than I, to learn of some weakness which will enable mankind to fend off these marauding creatures.
I took up my camera, obtained a safe vantage point, and photographed the beasts.
It turns out dragons don't look at all like I thought- I always thought they were supposed to be kind of lizardy, like big flying iguanas. But it turns out they're sort of roundish. Like lightbulbs.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Economy Rant, Part II.
Again I'm watching football (Sorry, Cardinals. Better luck next time.), and again I'll pass the time ranting. But it's a very short rant. It's more of an exclamation, really.
How likely is it that this $700 billion bailout will end up costing much, much more than that? I've heard a few politicians say it might not end up being that much. But what's the likelihood of that? How often, exactly, does the government spend less than they said they needed in the first place? And how often do they end up spending more than they said they needed?
On a lighter note, Everydayshouldbesaturdaycom has a new post that is one of the most sophomorically funny blog posts I've ever seen. It was quite good- you'll like it if your sense of humor is anywhere near as juvenile as mine. As I'm trying to keep my PG rating, I won't post samples, but I'll just say it's a collection of possible headlines regarding last night's game between the USC Trojans and the Oregon State Beavers.
How likely is it that this $700 billion bailout will end up costing much, much more than that? I've heard a few politicians say it might not end up being that much. But what's the likelihood of that? How often, exactly, does the government spend less than they said they needed in the first place? And how often do they end up spending more than they said they needed?
On a lighter note, Everydayshouldbesaturdaycom has a new post that is one of the most sophomorically funny blog posts I've ever seen. It was quite good- you'll like it if your sense of humor is anywhere near as juvenile as mine. As I'm trying to keep my PG rating, I won't post samples, but I'll just say it's a collection of possible headlines regarding last night's game between the USC Trojans and the Oregon State Beavers.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thoughts on the Collapse of Western Civilization
I don't actually think that's true. Western Civilization collapsed 40 years ago. But it's no big deal. Nobody noticed.
I'm actually just passing time while I stay up to late watching a suprisingly close USC-OSU football game. No, not that OSU. Sorry, Buckeyes, you already had your chance. But Oregon State is giving USC a heck of a game.
I won't see it end, though. I'm too sleepy. I do, however, have 5 minutes or so to spare. That should be enough to diagnose some economic woes.
The chutzpah of the Bush administration continually amazes me. Administration officials have spent two solid years saying the economy is fine. There might be some minor difficulties, some corrections, some struggles, they say, but the fundamentals are fine. They were still saying this two weeks ago. Then they suddenly need $700 billion. And they need it right away, no time for arguments. Just trust them.
Excuse me, but even if they had done something to earn my trust over the last 8 years, I'd still hesitate to fork over that kind of cash. And I'm sure as heck not eager to do it for someone who at this time last month still didn't seem to recognize there was a problem.
I did some math on that 7 hundred gabizillionjillion dollars. That's a commitment of well over $2,000 per person in this country. Nearly $10 thousand if you're a family of 4. I don't know a heck of a lot about economics, but I feel fairly confident that if I had a wife and two kids, and the president was telling me directly that my choice was to either use that $10,000 as I saw fit, or I could use it to bail out some big corporations with tax havens God-knows-where, I would not hesitate to tell him those corporations could go take a flying leap. I'd take my chances keeping the 10 grand in my own pocket.
I'm actually just passing time while I stay up to late watching a suprisingly close USC-OSU football game. No, not that OSU. Sorry, Buckeyes, you already had your chance. But Oregon State is giving USC a heck of a game.
I won't see it end, though. I'm too sleepy. I do, however, have 5 minutes or so to spare. That should be enough to diagnose some economic woes.
The chutzpah of the Bush administration continually amazes me. Administration officials have spent two solid years saying the economy is fine. There might be some minor difficulties, some corrections, some struggles, they say, but the fundamentals are fine. They were still saying this two weeks ago. Then they suddenly need $700 billion. And they need it right away, no time for arguments. Just trust them.
Excuse me, but even if they had done something to earn my trust over the last 8 years, I'd still hesitate to fork over that kind of cash. And I'm sure as heck not eager to do it for someone who at this time last month still didn't seem to recognize there was a problem.
I did some math on that 7 hundred gabizillionjillion dollars. That's a commitment of well over $2,000 per person in this country. Nearly $10 thousand if you're a family of 4. I don't know a heck of a lot about economics, but I feel fairly confident that if I had a wife and two kids, and the president was telling me directly that my choice was to either use that $10,000 as I saw fit, or I could use it to bail out some big corporations with tax havens God-knows-where, I would not hesitate to tell him those corporations could go take a flying leap. I'd take my chances keeping the 10 grand in my own pocket.
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