NC 17, Graphic violence. No adult language, but it would have been justified.

We'll start the story slowly, with some background info...

Last Wednesday night we were filling out our lineup and realized we were short a shortstop. We had plenty of bodies, the other nine spots were covered fine, but we really had no true shortstop. It looked like the job might be mine. I had already heard opinions to that effect, and I didn't like it. I'm a capable fielder, but I'm not a shortstop. I don't have the requisite lateral mobility.

So what to do? I looked around, saw Chad, who was penciled in as our left center fielder and who, as far as I know, had never played shortstop. I said "Chad, will you play short?"
He was reluctant, but willing. Especially after I reasoned with him. I did so by telling him it was either him or me, and that it wasn't going to be me. Chad understood the sound reasoning behind that argument.

He had one objection. He wasn't wearing a cup. A valid point, you may say.

I had a ready response. I don't wear one. None of our other infielders wear one. I asked around. It's true. Chad, I said, I've been playing infield for Yogis since the mid 90's and I've never taken a ball in the 'sweet spot,' so to speak. Never. (FORESHADOWING, for those of you scoring this story at home)

Cut to Sunday, second game of doubleheader...

Our hero (me) takes a solid ground ball squarely to Mr. Right Nut. He gamely scoops it (the ball, not Mr. Right Nut) back up and gets a force out at 2nd base. Then he starts sweating, and moaning quietly to himself, and noticing he's got cold chills and the temperature seems to have dropped 30 degrees in seconds. He (me, I'm still talking about, just in case you're confused) grits it out and, thankfully, the third out arrives quickly and our injured hero can return to the bench.

What an ache!!! Goodness, I've never felt anything so painful. I've been hit there before. Who hasn't? But that was a solid shot, no holds barred. Playing ball I've had a broken nose, broken fingers, dislocated thumb, and all sorts of assorted pulled muscles and bloodied body parts. But if given a choice, I don't hesitate for a second to say I'd rather suffer all of those at once than another direct hit like that.

Thank you for listening. Just talking about it helps a lot. Is there a co-pay?