Though I've devoted my usual 14 hours (or more accurately, 6 minutes)to handicapping the Big Blue game and as usual I have run all the numbers through my custom handicapping program on the super computer, I will be unable to publish the result.
I apologize for this failure. It is due to some sort of glitch in the software, I'm sure, but I have as yet not succeeded in fixing the glitch. I've run the numbers again and again and again, and each time the results say I should take Tennessee and give the three points.
There's obviously a problem somewhere if my numbers say to take the Vols. I mean, when was the last time they won this game, anyway?
In desperation I consulted another source, one that has proven infallible in the past. Ten times I asked the question "Will Kentucky beat Tennessee tomorrow?"
Answer 1 was "Ask again later."
Answer 2 was "Definitely."
Answer 3 was "No way."
Answer 4 was "Maybe."
Answer 5 was "Definitely."
Answer 6 was "Definitely."
Answer 7 was "Definitely."
Answer 8 was "No way."
Answer 9 was "Absolutely."
Answer 10 was "My sources say no."
So: five positives, 3 negatives, 2 non-committals.
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The folks at the Kentuckysportsradio.com blog have done their usual terrific job. A couple of my favorite lines for the day...
Description of basketball coaches Bruce Pearl and Pat Summitt (with accompanying great photos): " Two of Tennessee’s most famous cheerleaders: One is built like a burly old man with a hairy chest, that creepily hits on women, drinks heavily, and should never be photographed topless. The other is Bruce Pearl."
and
Scouting report on recently arrested player: "No, that’s not a touchdown the officials are signaling for. Jackson is just holding them at gunpoint."
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