Friday News Roundup

Local News:
My apartment is a mess and my milk has spoiled.

Slightly less local news:
A while back, during a conversation about the Seelbach fire, I learned the firefighters on the scene had to relay info on foot because the analog radios didn't work in the basement, but "they should be getting new radios soon."
That's been bugging me consistently since I heard it. Weren't new radios 'arriving soon' shortly after 9-11?

State news:
David Williams is still a complete jerk.

National news:
Little accomplished, lots and lots and lots of money spent doing it.

Entertainment news:
Michael Jackson is still deceased. And now buried, I think. Finally.

I wonder if any other big celebrities died this week. If so, there was probably no time for the 24-hour networks to cover it.

International news:
Our foreign correspondent has been detained and charged with crimes against his host country and so was unable to file a report.
In lieu of a report, just assume until you hear otherwise that the rest of the world has mad love for our new president but is unwilling to help us until they see what's in it for them.

Sports news:
Very near the all-star break and I have not watched a baseball game all year. That's a first.

Your beloved Yogis are a win away from clinching the Tuesday night title but are floundering helplessly on Wednesdays.
Injury report:
-two knees out
-one knee recovered
-one achilles tendon out
-one concussed head recovered (still attached)