UK Football on the Onion

Looks like I have to do another copy and paste job- after 10 more minutes trying to figure out why I can't link.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/kentucky_player_must

Kentucky Player Must Explain Significance Of AutoZone Liberty Bowl Before Coed Sleeps With Him
January 8, 2009 | | Onion Sports


LEXINGTON, KY—University of Kentucky freshman Lauren Austin demanded defensive end Ventrell Jenkins explain "what's so great" about the AutoZone Liberty Bowl before she would consent to participate in sexual intercourse with him, sources reported Monday.


"Technically, it's not the championship, but it's a lot like a championship," Austin's suitemates overheard Jenkins say. "Trust me. It was an important game." Jenkins also reportedly told the coed a trophy was awarded for the victory, and that this validated the game's significance. "With the BCS, there's not just one winner," he continued. "We're all winners in, like, diverse ways. It's hard to explain, but there was confetti and shit. We're the 2009 AutoZone Liberty Bowl champs.... Hey, come here." Austin reportedly put her clothes back on and left the room when Jenkins accidentally mentioned that Notre Dame had also played in a bowl game this year.

**** football note I tacked on late in the 1st quarter of the "national championship" game ****
Until a few minutes ago I didn't have a rooting interest in the game. Yeah, an SEC win would be nice, but I don't like the Gators much so I can't really pull for them.
But I just realized something. If Florida loses,, then every time I watch college football next year I will be subjected not only to the endless stream of announcers extolling Tim Tebow as saint, as warrior, and as the greatest leader since Alexander, but also incessant yammering about how the interceptions in the title game really ate at him, he felt he let his team down, and he's sooooo committed to winning a championship for his pals. And I might just have to vomit.
So Go Gators.