Pop quiz

Pick the fake George W. Bush quote! It's fun and edumacational!
1
a) “You don't get everything you want. A dictatorship would be a lot easier.’
b) “There’s no I.Q. tests in Texas.”
c) “The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?”
d) “They misunderestimated me.”


2
a) “There ought to be limits to freedom.”
b) “I don't believe witchcraft is a religion and I think the military should be re-examine their standards.”
c) “I will swear to not, to uphold the laws of the land.”
d) “I don‘t know why, but there‘s lots of folks who want me to be president.”

3
a) “I believe the children are our future, unless we stop them now.”
b) “ One of the great things about books is, sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.”
c) “Reading is the basics for all learning.”
d) Rarely is the question asked, ...is our children learning?


4
a) “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”
b) “Money doesn’t grow on trees. Except for paper money.”
c) “We ought to make the pie higher.”
d) “The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money.”


5
a) “I’ve been a failed business in the past. I understand the difficulty.”
b) “I understand small business growth. I was one.”
c) “Will the highways on the Internet become more few?”
d) “Sometimes things aren't exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures.”


6
a) “I was raised in the west. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California.”
b) “I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking.”
c) “Clear-headedness is an important quality in a clear-headed thinker.”
d) “There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — I can't get fooled again.”


7
a) “It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.”
b) “They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.”
c) “Some of these businesses aren‘t profitable.. We need to restore them to prodigality.”
d) “I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?’”

8
a) “I think we all agree, the past is over.”
b) “Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.”
c) “I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.”
d) “Mistakes were made, but I didn’t make any.”

9
a) “The environment is important because everybody has one.”
b) “I know that the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully.”
c) “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”
d) “I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging.”

10
a) “I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.”
b) “God leads. I follow God. The American peoples follow me.”
c) “I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes.”
d) “I'm a uniter, not a divider.”

11
a) “My job is to think up new ways, to find new ways, to make life difficult- less difficult- for citizens.”
b) “It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency.”
c) “The thing that's important for me is to remember what's the most important thing.”
d) “I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them.”

12
a) “Most things aren’t easy. At least, most things don’t seem easy to me.”
b) “I've coined new words, like 'misunderstanding' and 'Hispanically'.”
c) “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America...And we're going to do something about it.”
d) “As I'm sure you can imagine, it is an unimaginable honor to live here.”

13
a) “This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”
b) “One of the great goals of this nation's war is to restore public confidence in the airline industry. It's to tell the traveling public: Get on board. Do your business around the country. Fly and enjoy America's great destination spots. Get down to Disney World in Florida.”
c) “Well, you know, I think the American people are sacrificing now. I think they're waiting in airport lines longer than they've ever had before.”
d) “All Americans have a job to do. And that job is to mind their own businesses.”

14
a) “I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hannukah.”
b) “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.”
c) “There are lots more countries than I thought. It's a big coalition.”
d) “I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”

15
a) “I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army.”
b) “ I said you were a man of peace. I want you to know I took immense crap for that.”
c) “We don’t concern ourselves with foreign erections. What? Oh, foreign elections.”
d) “The best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world.”

16
a) “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
b) “I made it very plain: We will not have an all-volunteer army. Let me restate that. We will not have a draft.
c) “The internets and webs are wrong about the draft. Our voluntary army will win this war as long as you don’t questions its leaders.”
d) “I think it's very important for the American president to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly as I can.”

17
a) “And as a result of the United States military, Taliban no longer is in existence.”
b) “Wow! Brazil is big!”
c) “I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome.”
d) “You can’t reach out to other countries by digging a hole. Well, maybe to China, but that’s it.”

18
a) “See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”
b) “The believability issue is an important one, and one I believe I intend to address.”
c) “One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq with the war on terror.”
d) “I can only speak to myself.”

19
a) “I like my buddies from West Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them when I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president.”
b) “I think- tide turning- see, as I remember- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of- it's easy to see a tide turn- did I say those words?”
c) “Too many doctors are going out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their...their love with women all across this country.”
d) “The health care industry's important. So's the food industry, and the manufacturing industry, and touristism. What's that? Touristism- you know, travels.”

20
a) “Yo Blair, how are you doin’?”
b) “She was neat.”
c) “I was able to get a sense of his soul; a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country.”
d) “Suck one, Gerhard.”

Answers: 1-B, 2-D, 3-A (IT WAS HOMER SIMPSON), 4-B, 5-A, 6-C, 7-C, 8-D, 9-A, 10-B, 11-A, 12-A, 13-D, 14-C, 15-C (THOUGH HE DID SAY SOMETHING SIMILAR), 16-C, 17-D, 18-B, 19-D, 20-A (JUST KIDDING. IT WAS D.)


This started out as a 5-question quiz. But it was so much fun I ended up spending all of Car Talk and an hour of Whad'Ya Know working on it, and there was so much material that I think I used very little from 2006 through 2008.

The most difficult part was trying to remember which quotes were the ones I made up.
And remember, "I think people attack me because they are fearful that I will then say that you're not equally as patriotic if you're not a religious person. ... I've never said that. I've never acted like that. I think that's just the way it is."