If I die before I wake...

Some people at work were discussing burial arrangements.


Boy, if I ended the post right there, after that one sentence, it would have been very enigmatic, wouldn't it?

Anyway. I have no idea why that was the topic. It was not because someone had died. They were just discussing what their own arrangements would be at some point in the future. I think. I must not have been paying attention when the conversation started.

It got me thinking though, and I've decided that when I die I would like to be cremated, and I'd like my ashes scattered on the pitcher's mound of Seattle's Safeco Field.

I would like all my family and friends involved in this (well, all my remaining family and friends- I plan to outlive almost all of you, ha ha ha ha!). I think you'll have a great time. Here's the plan:

Call the management of the Seattle Mariners. Tell them I was a huge fan of their ball team, that I dreamed all my life of attending a home game of my beloved Mariners but could never afford the trip. Use any sob story possible to get them to cave to your wishes. If the Mariners organization resists, take my story to the newspapers and broadcast stations. They'll give in eventually.

With any luck, the day after my funeral the Seattle Times will run a heart-string-tugging (what's a heart-string? It sounds gross.) story about the devoted fan from Kentucky who supported the Mariners his whole life, despite never-to this point, anyway- having been further west than Santa Fe. The story will probably end by telling all the gullible readers that I finally achieved my greatest wish. Neato!

Or you can try it with the Cleveland Indians, if you'd rather. I'm not really particular. I can pretend to be a dead fan of any team. I probably won't complain at that point.