I'm so proud of myself. I watched the whole thing! Again! I was not even tempted to check the score of the baseball game (which the Phillies are leading 5-0 in the 5th. Oops. I guess I checked once.)
I didn't abbreviate it any more than I did the last one, but at least it's fair and balanced.
State of the economy:
McCain: Fannie and Freddie Mae (sic) are the reason Americans can not retire, because I backed deregulation for every big corporation and financial institution except those two.
Obama: You are so full of it it’s coming out your ears.
McCain: You’re Hugo Chavez.
Obama: You’re desperate. And a total jerk, full of outrageous lies.
McCain: I know. But if I smile enough and try to sound reasonable, some people might believe me.
Obama: We need to invest in the future, and spend money responsibly.
McCain: I’m going to use a hatchet, and then a scalpel. (Honestly, does that sound like the surgery you’d want?- Kevin)
Obama: The Bush administration stunk, and you supported it.
McCain: I’m a maverick.
Obama: You’re a Bushketeer.
McCain: I’m a maverick.
Negative campaigning:
McCain: I regret the negativity of this campaign. Especially your negativity.
Obama: You’ve got to be kidding.
McCain: You better keep those ashes out of my yard!
Obama: Sorry, but I can’t help it if your people burn crosses on windy days.
McCain: I’m not saying you’re a terrorist, but you’re a terrorist.
Obama: You are insane.
McCain: I’m taking the high road, you filthy communist terrorist.
Vice-presidential candidates:
Obama: Joe Biden is Superman. Chuck Norris dresses as Joe Biden for Halloween.
McCain: Sarah Palin is a maverick. I couldn’t be more proud of her if she was my own great-great-great granddaughter.
Energy:
McCain: Drill, baby, drill. And let's build lots more nuclear power plants. I’m sure that mountain in Nevada can hold the waste- even if Nevadans are fighting it tooth-and-nail.
Obama: We should drill responsibly and invest in alternative energies and fuel-saving technologies.
Trade:
McCain: Free trade is good. And I like talking about Herbert Hoover and the 1920s and ‘30s.
Obama: I like free trade, but it should be fair trade, too. No sweat shops, child labor, and human rights violations should be responsible for your cheap coffee and televisions, and for driving Americans into unemployment.
Healthcare:
Obama: Healthcare costs way too much. We should look at every possible way to lower the cost and improve health.
McCain: Put healthcare records on the internet. And Joe the Plumber should join a fitness center.
( I wonder how Joe the Plumber feels about being the main topic of tonight’s debate. It has to be pretty cool. -Kevin)
Obama: McCain’s plan has huge holes in it. He completely trusts the unregulated free market. I can see why, based on how well the unregulated free market is handling everything else.
McCain: Joe, guess what! You’re rich!. (????- Kevin)
Supreme Court nominees:
(Here’s where I checked the baseball game. I missed McCain’s answer. So I’ll make it up.)
McCain: My first choice for a Supreme Court nominee would be Todd Palin. I like the way he handles a snow machine.
Obama: Roe vs. Wade is the law of the land, and I’ll try to keep it so. It’s not perfect, but abortions beat the crap out of messed-up people having messed-up kids.
Education:
Obama: Invest in early childhood education. Recruit better teachers. Pay teachers better, teach them better, and make them more accountable for results. Make college affordable. And parents need to be more responsible, or everything else I mentioned won’t work.
McCain: Teachers don’t need to have certifications. (My God! Is he nuts? - Kevin)
Obama: The federal government should not pass unfunded mandates.
McCain: I like vouchers. It’s fun to say. Vouchers. Vowwww-chers. VOUCHERS. Vow-chers.
After last week's fiasco of a football game, I'll need some time to recover before I'm willing to make another prediction.
