Roy Adds Two New Aliases

Tuesday evening I arrived home from work and found a calling card in my door. It was from the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office, and said they had "some legal process concerning you. Please call the office to facilitate the service of this process."

What the hell? thought I.

I got into my apartment and examined the card again. Didn't notice anything special, just business hours and a Process Number, and Tuesday's date.

What the hell? thought I, again. And again, What the hell?

Then I thumbed through the mail- junk, junk, junk, letter from county attorney's office, junk, junk... What the hell? County attorney?

I opened it and found... a subpoena.

This I examined carefully, as you would probably guess. It was addressed to Mr. Carlos Merriweather, and not to me.

Whew.

Then I picked up the card from the sheriff's office again and finally noticed the name "Carlos Merriweather" written on top of it, too.

Whew, again.

Anyway, I called my landlord that night and left a voicemail explaining that lots of legal folks were looking for Carlos, and left the sheriff's office number. I said if he was a former tenant the landlord might want to call the sheriff and provide any forwarding address or any info he might have.
Then Wednesday morning I called myself, told the deputy that I was the current tenant, had been there for several years and didn't know anything about Mr. Merriweather.


I shared this story at work right away, and of course there were jokes about my alias and how I was really Carlos, etc. and so I went ahead and changed my work email automatic signature to Carlos Merriweather, and it was all good fun.
Then I spent the day at work Googling Carlos. Turns out he is responsible for The Love Club, an entity with which I was vaguely familiar- in the sense that I sometimes receive letters from collection agencies addressed to The Love Club, which I return with "wrong address" noted.

And it turns out Carlos is a recording artists who has had 'regional hits,' whatever that means, and he is a music producer, and has a satellite radio show, and an alias of his own! He is the famous Tony Dollar$!
Nope, I never heard of him, either. But now I had another alias! If I was to become Carlos Merriweather, then I get Tony Dollar$, too, at no additional charge! Other than some possible legal charges, I mean.


Just think, at lunch-time Tuesday I was just Kevin, with one paltry little alter-ego named Roy. And less than 24 hours later I had 3 full aliases, two of which came with extensive backstories. Talk about stepping up in the world.

And did I mention that Carlos is a published author? That's his book- it's a memoir of Tony Dollar$, written by Carlos Merriweather. "Consumine Desire, Masters The Secret Power of True Love" whatever the heck that means, available at Amazon.com now, and also available on audio.

As if this all wasn't enough, it plays in GREAT with my work alias. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Turns out I already had another alias, so that brings my AKA total to four. See, a couple of young ladies at work call me Dr. Love. And I'll leave it at that, because leaving the origins of the name "Dr. Love" mysterious makes me seem like a playa, and I think Tony Dollar$ would handle it just so.

But anyway, heading an organization called The Love Club and publishing a book about mastering the secret power of true love really fits in well with the Dr. Love moniker, so this is really a fun trip, and Kevin AKA Roy AKA Dr. Love AKA Carlos Merriweather AKA Tony Dollar$ is having a blast, at least until the sheriff takes a battering ram to his front door.