This afternoon I fulfilled what I believe to be my patriotic duty; I watched almost the entire soccer/football/futbal match between the U.S. and England. I missed the first 10 minutes or so, but I watched the rest.
I don't care for soccer. But I certainly don't want to be one of those self-absorbed Americans who does not take any interest in the rest of the world, so every so often I'll tune in to a soccer game and try to work up some sort of enthusiasm, or at least see what all the fuss is about.
Thus, I watched the whole thing- nearly.


I'm not the type to make fun of soccer. Sure, I would rather listen to John Ashcroft sing than watch any more soccer for at least the next two or three years. I would rather watch old people eat potato salad (with buzzing flies) at a picnic. I would even prefer watching the NBA finals.
The sport is just so incredibly popular in the rest of the world- the shots of thousands of people watching on jumbo screens in Hyde Park were amazing- and I'm just so incredibly indifferent to it.
I think the main reason I tune in every few years is that I can't help thinking I must be missing something. There must be something to it that I don't see. But I just don't get the attraction.

Years ago, a group of Vietnamese used to play basketball on weekends on the St. Agnes playground. I (and Jimmy and Jay) would sometimes play with them. As they played, the Vietnamese kept up a steady stream of chatter in their native tongue. We would play and play and play, and they would all just keep talking and talking and talking, and then suddenly they would all start laughing hysterically at some apparently funny joke. It was baffling. And as a self-conscious 13-year-old I was aways afraid the joke was on me.
That's sort of how I feel when I watch soccer. I just don't get it.
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One thing that I think would improve the sport greatly: no one should be allowed to use their hands. The other 10 guys aren't allowed to grab the ball, so why make an exception for the goalie? There would be more scoring, and thus a lot less chance of a stinking one-one tie like they had today.