Haircut

My barbershop is closed. Neither the National Guardswoman directing traffic nor the man sitting on his stoop and using a Zippo lighter to grill a cheese sandwich could tell me why.

So I went elsewhere.

The short play that follows is a re-enactment of my "Great Clips experience."


Barber: (as she wraps me in the protective cloth) So how would you like it cut today, hon?

Me: Just shorten it up some. Pretty short around on the sides, leave a little more on top- it stands up on top if you cut it too short.

Barber: (nodding and picking up a razor, she begins cutting above my right ear) Have you still got your power, hon?

Me: (GASP!)

Barber: Is that too short?

Me: Welllll…

(We stare at each other, me with a look of shock and her looking nonplussed, holding clippers in one hand and shears in the other)

Me: (after a long pause) Go ahead. It’s not like you can put it back.


I'm not saying who I look like, but I feel a strange urge to steal a pie from a window sill.