I'm not 40. I'm close.
But one of my best friends turned 40 today. Happy birthday, Jim.
I went out for a few hours with a fun group of friends to celebrate, then I bailed out early enough to get to work by seven tomorrow morning. The others, less fortunate than myself, have 4 or 5 hours of 'fun' ahead of them.

Again, not my 40th. But one of my best friends since kindergarten is 40. My ex-wife is 40. Good time to reflect on how (or whether) I've changed over the years. So here goes.

(added after the post was written: 40 is young. Not 20-something young, but young, nevertheless. A reflection on aging seems sort of silly coming from a 39 year old, but still, 40 is a milestone age at which people traditionally start to feel 'old.' I joke about it some myself, but I have to admit from the start that I don't really feel old in any way. My body certainly feels like it is aging, but I don't really in any way feel old. But the 40th birthday of a friend with whom I've been friends for 35 years still seems like a good time think about it.)

For starters, I'm home watching basketball rather than out drinking more beer. So I've changed in that way. It's easier to leave a party than it used to be. I was having loads of fun, but I had no problem remembering what tomorrow will feel like if I stayed. I'll count that as growth.

What else has changed?

I'm more mellow than I used to be. I'm every bit as opinionated as ever. Politics, religion, sports, the economy...my knee-jerk reaction is still that I am right and, if you disagree, you are wrong. But I'm generally more willing to keep my opinion to myself. Not always- maybe not even often- but more often than in the past.

I'm just generally more likely to recognize consequences that aren't worth it. Sometimes not as soon as I should, but at least sooner than I used to. For instance, I still post highly opinionated and probably inflammatory comments on this blog, but I often delete those posts within an hour or a day, when just a year or two ago I would have left them.

So the past twenty-plus years have seen my disagreements gradually move from fights to arguments to angry blog posts to polite dissent, which I feel is progress.

I think as people age they move in a consistent direction regarding 'social issues.' They either become more accepting of differing views and of things they disagree with, or less. I'm definitely moving toward the More Accepting end of the spectrum. Not that I don't often think views which are opposite of mine are a load of b.s. I do. But it bothers me less and less and even when I get angry about it the anger doesn't last as long.

I'm about half-way to my average life expectancy, I move even slower than I used to, and I have aches and pains that I didn't used to have, but I still feel very young. So overall, this reflection on aging makes me quite happy. To still feel young and to also recognize with confidence that I am generally a decent, moral person who is gradually becoming (slowly) more decent is sort of reassuring.
I might not ever get to where I'd like to be, but as long as I'm making progress it won't bother me much.