My Valentine? Poor dear, she was hit
Once or thrice by an ugly stick
And now she’s hard to look at.
And the kids? Well you see,
Ugli fruit drops down
To ground beneath
The humble
Ugli
Trees.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
A Nonnet for Valentine's Day
Why a nonnet? Why nonnot?
My Valentine? Poor dear, she was hit
Once or thrice by an ugly stick
And now she’s hard to look at.
And the kids? Well you see,
Ugli fruit drops down
To ground beneath
The humble
Ugli
Trees.
My Valentine? Poor dear, she was hit
Once or thrice by an ugly stick
And now she’s hard to look at.
And the kids? Well you see,
Ugli fruit drops down
To ground beneath
The humble
Ugli
Trees.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Look, I imagine I'd enjoy kicking and beating Anderson Cooper as much as the next man, but aren't things getting a little out of hand?
Can't we send Mitch McConnell over there or something? To, you know, just sort of wander around the square and ask people to calm down. I'm sure it would work out fine- one way or the other.
Or maybe Glenn Beck could set up a chalk board in downtown Cairo and diagram what the protesters are doing wrong. I'm sure it would be appreciated.
What a mess. I can't remember the last time I was so fascinated by the news. There certainly have been other huge news stories in my lifetime, but I don't believe any of them had such a sustained 'I wonder what will happen next, because it could be just about anything' aspect to it.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
*I had a bad cold, but I'm feeling quite a lot better now. Just a little bit of lingering crud.
However, this past week was pretty miserable. Last Sunday night I had such a nasty coughing fit that I strained a muscle in my rib cage. It was bad enough that for two or three days the only way it didn't hurt was if I lay flat on my back.
The biggest problem with that was the conflict with the fact that the only way I didn't cough a lot was if I was sitting straight up. It was my own little Middle-East crisis with no resolution.
Much like in geo-politics, I used various half-measures and compromises which satisfied no one and treated the symptoms instead of the underlying causes, and hoped the problem would go away.
*When I got up this morning I decided to check in on Facebook for a few moments and see what everyone has been up to. The little icons that show who else is on line showed that Dad was the only one. I'm pretty sure that means I got up too early on a Sunday morning.
*Friday night I was pedaling away on my exercise bike and watching a Planet Earth episode when Erin called to sell me cookies. For some reason, even though Kim's number is programmed in my phone the caller wasn't indentified, and I didn't recognize the number. The combination of the loud television, and my exercising and panting for breath made it quite an uphill challenge for someone with a quiet phone voice like Erin to identify herself. I said "hello" and "what" a few times, couldn't hear anyone distinctly, and so concluded by telling the caller she must have the wrong number.
So, sorry Erin. Some cookie customers are tougher sales than others, and I proved to be one tough cookie.
However, this past week was pretty miserable. Last Sunday night I had such a nasty coughing fit that I strained a muscle in my rib cage. It was bad enough that for two or three days the only way it didn't hurt was if I lay flat on my back.
The biggest problem with that was the conflict with the fact that the only way I didn't cough a lot was if I was sitting straight up. It was my own little Middle-East crisis with no resolution.
Much like in geo-politics, I used various half-measures and compromises which satisfied no one and treated the symptoms instead of the underlying causes, and hoped the problem would go away.
*When I got up this morning I decided to check in on Facebook for a few moments and see what everyone has been up to. The little icons that show who else is on line showed that Dad was the only one. I'm pretty sure that means I got up too early on a Sunday morning.
*Friday night I was pedaling away on my exercise bike and watching a Planet Earth episode when Erin called to sell me cookies. For some reason, even though Kim's number is programmed in my phone the caller wasn't indentified, and I didn't recognize the number. The combination of the loud television, and my exercising and panting for breath made it quite an uphill challenge for someone with a quiet phone voice like Erin to identify herself. I said "hello" and "what" a few times, couldn't hear anyone distinctly, and so concluded by telling the caller she must have the wrong number.
So, sorry Erin. Some cookie customers are tougher sales than others, and I proved to be one tough cookie.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I listened to a lot of Paul Simon this week. Also, I have a bad cold. That should be enough explanation.
Hello Nyquil my old friend,
I'm going to guzzle you again,
Because mucus softly creeping,
Is keeping me from sleeping,
And the clogging is affecting my brain,
It will not drain,
And my cough is hacking.
In restless dreams I snort and moan,
And grunt and sneeze and groan,
I need it dark so I dim the lamp,
Blankets keep out the cold and damp,
Unshowered, I'm sure I am a ghastly sight,
I hope I make it through the night,
And my cough is hacking.
And in the naked light I saw,
Ten thousand Kleenex maybe more,
I can't breathe without wheezing,
I can't talk without rasping,
I'm full of germs that I really should not share,
So don't come near,
And my cough is hacking.
______________________________
Still two full verses to parody but eh, you get the idea.
I think it's pretty funny but I might be wrong. Is there alcohol in Nyquil?
Friday, January 14, 2011
I had to visit a funeral home tonight, which of course led to the approximately twice-annual crisis of "Whoops, I still don't have a new suit, or at least jacket and shirt that fit."
So I hereby resolve to get right on that. Again.
Good news is my old jacket fits much better now than it did just a couple months ago, but I still need a new one.
The visit was for the passing of Mary Yates, the mother/mother-in-law/grandmother of quite a few of my friends. When I totaled it up I was amazed by how many of her descendents and their spouses and in-laws are my friends.
So I hereby resolve to get right on that. Again.
Good news is my old jacket fits much better now than it did just a couple months ago, but I still need a new one.
The visit was for the passing of Mary Yates, the mother/mother-in-law/grandmother of quite a few of my friends. When I totaled it up I was amazed by how many of her descendents and their spouses and in-laws are my friends.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 ended well and 2011 is off to a good start.
I ended the year with a fun round of golf at Quail Chase. I had two cracks at my best nine of the year on the last day of the year. It didn't take much-my best nine was 45. The front nine all I needed was a bogey, but I triple-bogeyed thanks to a stupid decision (if it takes longer than 2 seconds to decide whether you can make it through a gap in the trees, the correct answer is NO.)
The back nine I needed a bogey again. I tripled again, but I plead justifiable distraction. Here's the story:
After finishing on 17 we encountered a golf cart traffic jam before the 18th tee. We saw five carts and nine or ten people all gathered around talking. They were focused on one old man sitting in a cart, and my initial thought was a health problem such as a heart attack or perhaps something less serious.
But when we rode up to check it turned out to be a golf cart accident. Two carts had collided on the crossing paths. The wheels on one cart had been knocked askew. I didn't see it, so I can't really judge, but still....stupid. Carts don't move all that fast, so one or both drivers probably did something very stupid. Anyway, the old man seemed to have injured his arm, but when we asked everyone assured us he was fine, and he really did seem to be okay. And they told us to play through.
We could hear sirens as we teed off on 18. By the time we were in the fairway the sirens were very close, and we joked that they were probably coming to Quail Chase because of the golf cart accident. Then just before I hit my second shot two emergency vehicles rode up the cart path, sirens still blaring. I hit a poor shot. By the time we reached the green two more police cars had also played through.
It was hard to concentrate.
I'm nearly 100% sure the guy was fine. My guess is they called the clubhouse after the accident, and the folks in the clubhouse decided not to take any chances.
2011 began with me doing nothing for several hours, then we went bowling, then several of us decided to go out for dinner at Logan's. I had a delicous steak-and-lobster tail, mainly so that I could say I've eaten lobster every day this year.
I ended the year with a fun round of golf at Quail Chase. I had two cracks at my best nine of the year on the last day of the year. It didn't take much-my best nine was 45. The front nine all I needed was a bogey, but I triple-bogeyed thanks to a stupid decision (if it takes longer than 2 seconds to decide whether you can make it through a gap in the trees, the correct answer is NO.)
The back nine I needed a bogey again. I tripled again, but I plead justifiable distraction. Here's the story:
After finishing on 17 we encountered a golf cart traffic jam before the 18th tee. We saw five carts and nine or ten people all gathered around talking. They were focused on one old man sitting in a cart, and my initial thought was a health problem such as a heart attack or perhaps something less serious.
But when we rode up to check it turned out to be a golf cart accident. Two carts had collided on the crossing paths. The wheels on one cart had been knocked askew. I didn't see it, so I can't really judge, but still....stupid. Carts don't move all that fast, so one or both drivers probably did something very stupid. Anyway, the old man seemed to have injured his arm, but when we asked everyone assured us he was fine, and he really did seem to be okay. And they told us to play through.
We could hear sirens as we teed off on 18. By the time we were in the fairway the sirens were very close, and we joked that they were probably coming to Quail Chase because of the golf cart accident. Then just before I hit my second shot two emergency vehicles rode up the cart path, sirens still blaring. I hit a poor shot. By the time we reached the green two more police cars had also played through.
It was hard to concentrate.
I'm nearly 100% sure the guy was fine. My guess is they called the clubhouse after the accident, and the folks in the clubhouse decided not to take any chances.
2011 began with me doing nothing for several hours, then we went bowling, then several of us decided to go out for dinner at Logan's. I had a delicous steak-and-lobster tail, mainly so that I could say I've eaten lobster every day this year.
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