political football and regular football

My abridgement was still rather long. I'm going to try again next week. I think I'll be able to simplify it even further. I wish I could do hand puppets on this blog, that would be cool. Maybe I'll make a hand puppet debate video, or something.

The project helped me focus, though. I normally zone out for a few five-minute stretches while watching stuff like that- or else change the channel to find out the score of a ballgame and forget to switch it back.

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Kentucky's a 1-point favorite over South Carolina.

I'd bet big on Kentucky. Almost all the injured players are back. Kentucky's sitting on a big game.

Everyone seems to think Kentucky made a good showing against Alabama. They actually played better against Middle Tennessee, which was a victory, but is still the game that has kept Kentucky out of the top 25 so far.

The presidential debate: abridged version

I watched and transcribed the entire debate tonight. More or less. This is the gist of what was said:

Key:
O = Obama
M= McCain

Economy
O: The economy sucks. It’s George Bush’s fault. And John McCain’s. I’ll fix it.
And I’m presidential.
M: The economy sucks. I’ll fix it. And I’m a nice guy. Plus I’m hip. I know about eBay.
O: My opponent is old and out of touch.
M: I care about the middle class. But until last month, I though Fannie and Freddy were the Flintstones.
O: It’s all John McCain’s fault. But I won’t point fingers. I thought Halle Berry was hot in “The Flinstones” movie. That Rosie chick stunk, though. But she’ll vote for me.
O: I’m going to give you everything you want and it’s not going to cost you a dime. my opponent is erratic.
M: I’m a maverick. He’s a communist.
M: I can reach across the aisle and work with Democrats. But Democrats suck.
O: Your paycheck is too small and you spend too much on gas. I’ll fix it. Plus I mentioned Kennedy. Everybody loves him.
M: I’m going to eliminate all government spending that doesn’t directly benefit you.
I’m more patriotic that Barack Hussein Obama.
O: All Americans will have to make sacrifices. (wink, wink. Just kidding. I’m going to make rich people pay!)
M: I knew Herbert Hoover. You, sir, are no Herbert Hoover.
O: I’ll give you anything you want.
M: I know how to fix Social Security. I’ll form a committee. That always works.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes.
M: He’ll raise your taxes. I’m a veteran. I’m patriotic.

Healthcare
O: I know about computers. I’m young. Not too young though. Just young enough.
M: I’m a maverick. I’ve been in the Senate since 1846 but I’m an outsider.
O: I’m going to fix health care. My opponent favors leeches and ether.
M: I’m not out of touch. To prove it, I’ll throw in another gratuitous internet reference. By the way, Big Government is bad. That’s why I want to lead Big Government.
O: McCain just screwed up. I can’t wait to answer this question….HEALTHCARE IS A RIGHT!!! Duh.
And insurance companies are evil. God, this is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Important breaking news… at this point John McCain lost the presidential election by acting like a total ass and blurting out “Did we hear the size of the fine?” in reference to his accusation that Obama will fine small businesses. True, not true, doesn’t matter. If Al Gore’s sighs annoyed viewers in 2000, then that little outburst just cost McCain at least 100,000 voters.

Foreign Policy
M: I’m patriotic and wise. But not old. Wise and hip. Not that I have a bad hip.
O: I’m patriotic, too. And I care. And I’m young. Not too young, though. Young and presidential.
M: I’m tough and wise. If I lose, I’m going to do Viagra ads like Bob Dole.
O: I’m wise and tough. John and I should make a Reese’s peanut butter cup commercial.
M: You, sir, are also no Teddy Roosevelt. I knew him, too.
O: Why do you keep talking about carrying a big stick? Are you doing Viagra commercials already?
M: You’re a jerk.
O: You’re a geezer.
M: You’re a communist.
O: You’re senile
M: Oh, go to hell, you …whoops- I think I just wet myself.
O: Hah.
M: My opponent is soft on terrorism, soft on rogue nations, soft on..
O: That’s a lot of references to ‘soft’ The Viagra must be wearing off.
M: I’m going to start World War III by bombing Russia. Don’t worry, though, you’ll all die so fast there will be no need to re-institute the draft.
O: Everything is McCain’s fault. I will fix it.

QUESTION: Yes or no, is Russia an evil empire?
O: How dumb do you think I am?
M: How dumb do you think I am?

M: Iran is evil. I’m tough. I want the Jewish vote.
O: Iran is evil. I’m tough, too. I also want the Jewish vote.

IN CLOSING:
O: Change, change, change, change.
M: I'm a veteran.

Football

Kentucky once again displayed an inept offense and solid defense in losing to the Alabama Phytoplankton 17-14.

I am really enjoying this season, despite the fact that watching Kentucky try to move the football is almost physically painful.

I was very impressed with the defense. They played great without their best player, Micah Johnson, and he's due back next week, as are both the Cobbs and Justin Jeffries.

I still have not given up on the offense, either. Mike Hartline looks terrible at times, but no he looks no worse than Andre Woodson when he was a sophomore- in fact I think Hartline looks better. If some receiver, any receiver (please!) steps up in addition to Lyons, and with Cobb back to provide occasional change-ups at QB, then the offense can start clicking.

I see no reason not to be optimistic that Kentucky can end it's 0 and 15 drought against Spurrier next week.

Facemask

I have some opinions about the game that I'll share later. But for now, I only have a question.

I don't really have a beef with the officiating, because this is NEVER called. But how come ball carriers who stiff-arm defenders as shown in the picture are not penalized for grabbing the facemask?

3 of 3

I still can't predict a UK victory. Kentucky has a legitimate shot, though.

Both teams are well into their seasons, so I have to base my prediction on what the teams have done. On that basis, Alabama's been better.

But Alabama can't get much better than they've been already. I don't really buy the notion that it's a 'trap' game for them, but even if they play well they're still likely to play a little worse than they played against Georgia.

Kentucky, on the other hand, is much more likely to take a huge leap forward. If Tony Dixon runs into holes rather than diving into them, (or if he plays a lot less) it will help. If any one of the young receivers manages to hold onto a couple of passes, it will help a lot, too.

2 of 3

I'm trying doggedly to get into Graham Greene's "The Heart of the Matter."

I've read 7 or 8 Graham Greene novels. Two or three have been great, and the rest at least good. I bought this particular book at Half-Price Books over a year ago, but still haven't read it despite two previous aborted attempts.

This time, I'm determined. I feel confident that if I give it a good effort then I'll get into it and enjoy it, because I've had similar difficulty with a couple of his other books.

The problem is that Greene was primarily a screenwriter. His novels are very good, but the openings establish mood and bounce between seemingly unrelated characters in a manner that is very effective in movies, but drags in print. Once they get going, though, they are always worth it.

1 of 3

"She's awful" isn't much of a critique, so I'll expound.

I admit I am predisposed to dislike any candidate who thinks creationism should be taught in a science class. That's just plain stupid, so I don't feel any need to elaborate.

Despite the fairly positive media reviews, though, I still feel my assessment of "awful" was arrived at fairly objectively.

I gave Palin fairly positive marks for aggressiveness and for sticking well to talking points she believed worked for her. I believe, however, that she probably only impressed those who were likely to vote for her already.

She stuck doggedly to her script, and when forced to leave it at all she looked like a deer in headlights. She showed adequate command of a narrow range of issues, and on the rest she either relied entirely on notes-if she had notes for that particular topic, or floundered like a fish out of water.

Nice. Two animal metaphors in the same paragraph.