hmmm

Hi! Just seeing whether or not it's easy to write a post on my phone, mostly because it's cold, there's nothing good on TV, and I don't feel like reading.                 Phone posts seem feasible but not particurlary convenient. We'll see.

Wow, readers of the family blogs are going to wonder what is going on here.  After visiting Dad's cheerful new post about his burial plot and headstone, they probably think the reading can't get to be any more of a downer.  Well, have I got news for them!

 

I typed this out over the last couple of hours.  The goal was just to make me feel better writing it down and reading it to myself.   I didn't know if it was going on the blog until just now as I pasted it in.  My few readers are family and friends, so I saw no harm in sharing.   Between the writing and the pasting I omitted a lot of what I wrote.  Specifics, mostly-  I saw no reason to incriminate myself or others by relating some of our more entertaining anecdotes.  Maybe some other time.  

As to whether it helped writing it all down, the answer is "I have no idea."  I'm sure it didn't do any harm, at the very least. 

Anyway, here goes:

 

I lost a great friend last week.  Gone with a phone call.  

For a full year Ron had been an emotional and mental mess.  He knew it.  Everybody who loved him knew it, too.  He was seeing a therapist, he had medication, he had family and friends all willing to help in any way possible.  All of which turned out not to be enough. 

I’m no expert in such things, but I think it’s common for people to feel as if they should have done more in these situations.   Thankfully, I don’t feel that way.  I don’t doubt there’s more that I and we could have done, or something we could have done differently, to help.  But we did what we could and what we knew to do, and what seemed right at the time.  If we missed opportunities to help- as I’m sure we did- it wasn’t for lack of effort or lack of concern.   You just don’t always know what to do, and maybe sometimes there just is no right thing to do. 

Ron and I met at St. X.   The first few weeks I knew him as the little blond kid who pushed Anthony to class in the wheel chair, because Anthony had broken his leg playing baseball.   But soon we were friends.   Jim, Ron, me, Anthony, John, Bob (Alan! Or as our friend Janet took to calling him, to cover all the bases, ‘Bob-Alan’).  Our social circle certainly wasn’t impermeable- we drifted in and out of other crowds, and others drifted in and out of ours, but the six of us were frequently together and considered each other our social base.

Ron and I became even better friends through our college years (which stretched on and on- I took my time), and even better friends over the years after that.  I’m sure that’s rare.   Young friends often stay friends, but they don’t often get closer as the years go by.  Not these days, anyway.    We were in each other’s weddings, we played hundreds of softball games together, played golf on who-knows-how-many weekends, played poker, hung out and watched football and basketball.  I swam in his pool and played horseshoes and cornhole in his yard I have no idea how many times.    

We debated; always fun, because we agreed about virtually nothing in the realms of politics, religion, or sports, but never got mad at each other.  That’s pretty rare, too.   Once he told me a work friend was saying something or other negative about atheists and Ron had used me as an example against his friend’s argument. He said “I have a friend who’s an atheist, and he’s one of the best people I’ve ever known.”    

I don’t know if he was right about that, but I’ll never forget it and I’ll always appreciate it.  He was a good man and his opinion meant a lot to me.

Ron introduced me to all my friends on the Yogis softball team.   They are my friends because of him, and I’ve needed them.  Thank you, Ron, for that.

Ron introduced Jim to that team, too, which went a long way toward healing a breach between Jim and me.  Thank you, Ron, for that.   Jim is a tremendous friend.   I like to assume we would have ended up friends for life, anyway- we’ve been friends for decades- but I certainly don’t know that for sure.  I’ve been glad of our friendship for years, and now I’m not just glad, I’m also grateful. 

Ron was a good friend for a long time.  We had stupid juvenile fun together in high school.    We had stupid juvenile fun together in college, too.   We became adults together. We had stupid, juvenile fun as adults.   I guess we never grew out of stupid, juvenile fun.  

When my marriage ended Ron was a good friend in need.  Just as later I didn’t always know what to do for him, he also didn’t always know what to do for me.  There wasn’t always something to do.  But he was there, willing to help.  I thanked him for that, even when he couldn’t really help.  He thanked us, too, in this past year, even though we apparently we couldn’t really help.

You never know what’s going to happen.  I know that, and I knew that already.  But I admit I assumed Jim, Ron, and I would be 75% of many more golf foursomes for many more years.   I’m not sure how long it will take to get used to the new reality.

 I’m grateful, though, for the 27 years I knew Ron.  He was a good and decent man.  I was proud to call him my friend.  I am proud to say he was my friend.

 

 

Well, the lots of softball games I could have played turned into only three.  Two losses Friday and we were done, and one loss tonight.  0 for 3.   Darn.

Tonight was typical, for Sundays.  Everybody else loads up for the league tournament, bringing out ringers to strengthen their tournament team.  But we were missing 4 players and filled in with spare parts, and lost 10-9.     I'm done with that, as far as putting our own team in the league.   Next year I plan on latching on with another team and just showing up and playing.  I'll be much happier doing that than making 20  phone calls and sending 30 text messages every weekend trying to get enough players.  I'll let someone else worry about that.

Friday night was rough.  Incredibly rough.  I have no idea how many games I've played at third base in my life, but our 2nd game Friday night was by far the most difficult I've ever had at 3rd base.
We lost our 1st game by a lot.  We just had one of those games where we didn't look ready to play.  We didn't hit, didn't field, and got blown out.
We then had to play the loser's bracket final, and I got beat up at 3rd base.  I've never had anything even close to an experience like that.   I came out of it with only one massive bruise on my chest, but if I'd been a little quicker I could have had more.  Most of the balls hit at me I just didn't have time to get in the way enough to get hit.  I certainly wouldn't have fielded them. I made a couple of very nice plays for outs, barely saw a few balls as they zipped under my glove or by my ear or over my head, and took a few off my arms and wrists and one off my chest.    Nothing easy at all, and with the ones under my glove or right next to me that I didn't field, it didn't bother me at all that I missed them.  They were that hard.
Three comments from three different teammates after the game, all of whom are good defensive players:
 1)"I thought about asking you if you wanted to switch positions with me, just to give you a break, but I didn't want to go over there."
2) "Hell, if Kevin couldn't get a glove on it I didn't see any point in putting anyone else over there."
3) "I felt sorry for him but I wasn't going to volunteer."

Still, in the bottom of the 7th we were only down 23-20, bases loaded and nobody out, and I was at bat.   I'd hit the ball good all night and I was confident.   I'd also been hitting nice low line drives into right field  and between 1st and 2nd base all night (and for the last couple weeks), and the right fielder (Brian Brohm, incidentally) was playing deep.  I felt sure I could drop one in front of him and be on 1st base as the winning run.   
And what happened?  Well, I hit it hard.  A nice line drive, easily over the head of a normal first baseman.  When I hit it I thought it was perfect.  But their first baseman (who had drilled me in the chest earlier) was about 6'6" tall, and he snagged it for an out.  And our base runner on 2nd was about twenty feet off the bag as the throw came over and he got doubled up, so there were 2 outs suddenly and the rally was all but over. We lost.
I'm still a bit bothered by that bit of base running.  There's really no excuse for getting doubled up on a line drive when we needed the runner on base BEHIND him to score to just tie the game.  But that's how it goes.  It happens to everybody at some point, but that was a bad time to make that mistake.

Lots of Softball on a Sore Toe

Lots of softball on a sore toe?  Sounds like a disgusting sandwich.  Maybe softball on a soretoe bun.

Anyway, I smashed my right big toe pretty good last Tuesday night.  How?  Cornhole injury, of course.  It's a dangerous game.   Actually, I was playing in our cornhole league tournament and there was a smelly garbage can nearby.  It had rained the night before, so rainwater made it very heavy and the garbage was pungent.  I was dragging it away so we couldn't smell it and I bounced or slammed onto my foot.  Ouch. Smashed right onto my toenail, and the toe bled a lot.

I cleaned it decently while my teammate and opponents waited patiently, then came back and finished up the last two games of our best-of-three match.  We won.  Then we advanced to the next round, lost 2 games quickly, played again and won 2 straight, then again and lost 2 straight, so we were eliminated.    I could use the fact that I had to play 8 games on a smashed toe as an excuse, but the 4 games we won Tuesday were more than we won in all of July.

I kept my injury clean, I thought, and even bathed it Betadine a couple of times, but by Friday I could tell it was infected.  The two softball games I played Friday night were fun- big, big wins both!-  but painful.  
Saturday afternoon I went to an immediate care center. The doctor said 'yep, that's infected' and I received a tetanus shot and a prescription for antibiotics.   I don't like tetanus shots.

Two more softball games Sunday-both wins again!-   another win Monday night,  two more wins last night! ( Lots of exclamation marks because it's a lot of wins.)   All painful at times but fun, and even with all that softball my toe seems to be improving.  
I tried to keep it wrapped as instructed, but seriously, have you ever tried to wrap a bandage around your toe and then put on shoes?  I think it was doing more harm than good.   Cleaning 3 times a day should take care of it, anyway, and it is getting better.

The weekend lineup is more tournament games.  Minimum 3 games, maximum 7 on Friday and Sunday combined.   Friday we are in the winner's bracket final so we'll play at least 2, and could play as many as 3.   Sunday we're still alive but would have to win 4 straight without a loss.

I'm especially looking forward to Friday night.  Our team has 5 current or former Yogis, and the team we play first has the same number.  The 10 of us have all played a lot of ball together and like each other, so I think it will be a lot of fun.  It's cool that both teams made it to the winner's bracket final. 

Therefore, this 80 degree weekend will see no golf from me.  I could play Saturday but I think I'll skip it with the hope of wearing myself out with softball winning streaks.

Dad's driving complaint reminded me that I've been very annoyed by other drivers lately.  It's interesting, because my level of  'road rage' has decreased dramatically over the years, and especially lately. 
I used to get quite angry with other drivers.  Furious, really.  But I've calmed down quite a lot behind the wheel. 
At the same time, though, I think I've actually become more aware of all the stupid things drivers do.   I think (though I'm not sure) that my own driving continues to improve.  Over the years I have become more patient, more cautious, more aware, and more courteous behind the wheel, but this has made me even more aware of when other drivers do not behave properly. 
I've also mellowed, though, so while I'm now ever more aware of how awfully everyone drives, it bothers me less, or at a lower level.
One thing continues to enrage me, however, and that's people who stick themselves into the middle of an intersection after the light from wherever they are turning from turns red.  Please, people, don't move through the intersection until you know you won't stick yourselves into the middle of oncoming traffic.
There.  That's all I have to say about that subject... until you are blocking me.  Then you'll hear more.

Next topic...
I don't go to movies very often.  Once every couple of years is about it.   But now I have a feeling that every time I sit in a theater I'll spend at least 30 or 40 seconds thinking 'wow, there really is no good way out of here if someone starts shooting.'
I know it's a very small thing in light of the incredible pain he caused  to the people of Aurora, CO., but really it's incredible how many people who will probably spend that half-minute of discomfort like I described while waiting for whatever crappy movie they are about to watch.
Thanks a lot, nut job.

Next topic...
My softball swing is finally coming around again.  I hit better the first six weeks of the season than I've ever hit before, then slumped badly.  But my last dozen at bats or so have been much better. 

When I was slumping I thought I wasn't waiting long enough on the pitches.  That wasn't the problem, though, so trying to correct that didn't fix anything.  Turns out it wasn't a matter of waiting long enough, it was where I was meeting the pitches.  I just need my weight behind me properly when I make contact.   I realized that before my last at bat last Wednesday, made the adjustment, and have about 7 or 8 hits on the dozen or so at bats since then.

Next (and last) topic...
We've stunk in the Tuesday night cornhole league.  I think we may be in last place, but I'm not sure. However, this week I stayed late and played in the $5 blind draw tournament and won, so that's a plus. 
I love these tournaments, in theory.  They start around 10:30, though, so I don't stay and play too often.  If I thought I'd win $40 or $50 with any frequency I'd stay all the time, but otherwise I'm just donating $5 to lose an hour or two of sleep..

Reading update:  Nothing special.  I'll finish Sacre Bleu tomorrow, probably.  It's pretty good, but not worthy of a big recommendation.
 Slicky Boys is also pretty good, I'm about half-done with it.  Again, though, it's not so good that I'll tout it heavily.  I will, however, endorse the series in general. There are six or seven books featuring the same two main characters, and this is the third I've read.  They're all pretty good.
Next up is World Made By Hand ( I think.  I might be wrong even about the title), by someone whose name I can't recall.  It looks good, and I've been looking forward to reading it.  I've sort of been saving it.  After each of the last 3 or 4 books I've finished I've considered starting this one, but I have a suspicion it's one I'll practically inhale- that I will have some difficulty putting it down once I start it.
So I'll probably be disappointed by it since my expectations are so high. 

Apparently I'm an official 4-nights-per-week softball player now.  That seems like a lot, doesn't it? 

Most of the leagues are nearing the end, though.  Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday will all end late July or early August.  However, the Monday league has a long time left and we'll be starting Tuesday/Thursday soon after.  

I was already 3 nights per week officially, and subbing some on Fridays, including each of the last two weeks.  Then last night I was talking with the guy I play for on Fridays and he basically told me I was expected to show up every week until the end of the season.  I started to protest, then told him yeah, heck with it, I'll be there.   It's not like I'm doing anything else.

As to how softball is going, it's a mixed bag.
 My Sunday team started out great at 4 and 1,  suffered through a lousy losing streak, but won yesterday against a good team. 
  Mondays we also started great, but have lost two in a row. We played okay both losses, though, so not so bad.
 Wednesdays we've been terrible, with a few flashes of brilliance.

 And now that I'm enlisted permanently on Fridays I suppose I'll have to care about that team, too, but I have no idea what that team's record is.  Seems like a decent team.  I know I like the guys on the team, at least.   Yesterday, several of them stuck around after their own game to watch my Sunday team for one reason only- I was playing shortstop and they were waiting for a chance to razz me when I messed up.  I have to respect that.
But I never messed up, and in fact I ended the game with a nice back-handed play.  Kudos to me.

Friday, 12:23 AM.  I'm home watching Big Bang Theory, and head off to bed in 7 minutes, so this will be quick.

I arrived home around 5 today to 100+ degree apartment.   That's the 4th time in 3 years my air conditioning has gone out.  It has to either the a.c, or the apartment location (top floor, lots of sun exposure and lots of windows), because I'm sure it's not me. I set the thermostat on 74 or 75 in the summer, which I think is conservative- lots warmer than I'd like it.  I'd be very happy with 65 degrees, but I try to keep it mild, both for cost and because I've learned my air conditioner has to work very hard.

With a Friday afternoon a.c. disaster I know I can't get it fixed until at least Monday.  Two more 100 degree days coming up, and 4th of July week I'm not at all sure my landlord will get it fixed in a timely manner. 

I called my favorite hotel, Casa de Tabler in the lovely Tyler Park neighborhood, and arranged lodging.   Then I left to play softball, planning to come home, shower, and head to Mom and Dad's for the night.  But when I got home a few minutes before 11:00 the temperature was down to 83 and my bedroom was even cooler- not a lot, but a few degrees. 
The air conditioner definitely needs professional attention again, and it will definitely climb up to 100 degrees in here tomorrow, but tonight it seems fine as long as I have a fan blowing.

I didn't call  to cancel my reservation.  I hope I don't lose my deposit, but I figured nobody would be working the desk after 11:00.  Or if I called that late I might make an employee cranky, especially since the guy who took my reservation was playing golf early Saturday in Lexington.

Nothing else to report, except softball doings.  We won tonight, but that doesn't mean much to me because it's not my team. I was just subbing.
We lost 19-17 Wednesday to a team that crushed us by lots and lots of runs about 3 weeks ago. Nice to see improvement, but we were down 19-17 with bases loaded, 0 outs in the bottom of the 7th and should have won or gone to extra innings.  Instead we got a fly out/double play on a failed tag up to home, then another out.   I'd like to be mad at the guy who got thrown out but he got nailed by an absolut cannon of a throw to the plate which surprised me as much as I'm sure as it surprised him.

It was a rough night for me. Not a particularly bad night, but a rough one.  I got four new bruises from ground balls off various body parts.  It was the late game and I have a rough time fielding the ball cleanly under the lights.  I was busy- lots of balls hit my way- and I did a decent job getting outs, but too many of them bounced off me first.

Anyway, that's it.  I've run over into a 'Friends' episode, and it's just not funny.  Bed time.